Merry Happy Jingle Chestnuts

It’s not over yet but 2017 was the year I fully embraced the Stoli. And this will be my first Christmas without turkey. I refuse to get rid of the vodka that’s taking up shelf room in my freezer to make room for a Butterball. Watching Trump peck and scratch his way to obscurity is turkey enough for me.

The field reporters for The Nudge Wink Report did a stellar job this year, blogging about this, that, and the other thing. We managed to find the funny every week, without missing…okay, we missed a few. Like that time Dave showed up wearing…huh. Just realized I can’t tell that story. Or any of the other reasons some of us missed our deadlines this year. *nudge, wink*

Management is so impressed relieved that we keep turning up even though the coffee around here comes FROM A CAN, they’ve given us the rest of the year off to go forth and be joyful. To find the reason for the season. To jingle our bells. Or to pinch the Grinch. Whatever toasts our chestnuts.

What I Learned This Week

Taking a Twitter break is not a good idea. I took off a few weeks months, and came back and tweets go from 140 characters to 280 characters and now Trump is starting to make sense. This may shock you but I have zero pull with Twitter and have a better chance of Lake Bell liking one of my tweets (which she totally did btw!) than convincing Twitter to edit back their decision. #bitchtweet

If you watch the news through the bottom of an empty tequila bottle, things don’t look half bad.

You Can’t Choose Your Family But You CAN Choose Who You Travel With

I’ve been off social media for the past two months enjoying the final glorious days of summer and trying to avoid reading too much about how The White House has evolved into “an adult day care center.” It’s my turn in the bat mobile this week here at The Nudge Wink Report and every post I tried to write veered off the road into la-la land…and not in an academy-nominated way. More in a man-baby-takes-aim-at-anyone-who-doesn’t-praise-him way. Thankfully I have a back catalogue of material I can shift into gear and put on the road at a moment’s notice.

Enjoy the road trip. And don’t forget to tip your driver. *grin*