Our field reporters are out there, on the ground (sometimes literally) schmoozing hard to bring you the best in news, views, and attitudes from around the nation, and around the world. Appearing, in no particular order of importance despite the rumors, our Field Reporters:
Dave Lovett writes the blog 1 Point Perspective. When he’s not writing about dog dookie, coffee enemas, the Seven Deadly Sins or finding some way to appease the Goddess Blogdramedy, he can be found providing physical therapy to the special needs children and not-so-special needs adults in the wilds of Southern New Jersey.
Dave was an athlete back in the olden days, and now he struggles to stay moderately fit while still qualifying as a beer snob, tequila snob, single malt scotch snob, an indiscriminate vodka inhaler and admitted foodie. He makes a variety of wicked-tasty foods for his long-suffering wife.
His grandchildren love him, though they have not been exposed to his blogging side. His children tolerate him.
Mr. Lovett sometimes illustrates his own blogs. On these occasions, readers get to decide whether he sucks more at drawing or writing.
When he’s not working or blogging, Dave can be found stalking the web for shoes to fit his massive feet and trying to find new fetish porn sites – but only for the articles.
Blogdramedy is a recovering communications specialist who now spends her days helping non-profits communicate effectively. They rarely listen to her advice. When she’s not putting words in other people’s mouths (and hearing them come out wrong) she writes the blog, Upside of Sideways.
She is yet to be paid for the lavish attention she brings to critical issues of the day. Such as: politicians gone rogue; the decline of personal hygiene; stupid people who get their own reality tv shows; and, petitioning the government to hand over Alcatraz to the Kardashians so they can move in and lock the door behind them.
Blogdramedy admits she’s fussy, demanding, impetuous, sarcastic, and completely open to trying anything fun. Having her bio smack in the middle of Dave and Tom is a fantasy gone wild.
Inventor of #bitchtweet on Twitter, she’s big into blog love and likes to share her blog real estate with other bloggers she finds hilarious.
Tom B. Taker is a leading authority on pessimism, the self-proclaimed “Guru of Negativity,” the sole winner of Survivor: Abyss Island and recipient of The Ribbon of Participation.
His work has been featured on WordPress’ Freshly Pressed. He’s the author of several imaginary books using his eponymous pseudonym including How To Destroy Your Employees, Society Of Assholes, Almost A Life Form and So Long, And Thanks For All The Pish. He presciently wrote the negativity blog How Big Is The Spill (an ode to a half-empty/half-full glass that was tipped over) but abandoned the blog after BP irrevocably tarred the phrase in search engines.
Currently he single-handedly writes Shouts From The Abyss blog where he has posted daily since October 6, 2009. The blog is an eclectic mix of poop, the Hyppo and Critter comic strip, and the Gerbil Research Institute for Parental Edification (GRIPE).
He resides in a lighthouse in Albuquerque, New Mexico, not far from his wife and two cats.
FloridaBorne (Special Adventure Reporter) is one of those crazy people who believe that writing is a great deal more fun and a lot cheaper than psychotherapy.
She has worked in the field of developmental disabilities since 1993, where she feels accepted and appreciated. For the past 15 years, her spare time has been devoted to developing and writing a series of books forged from life experiences as well as her experience assisting people with developmental disabilities such as Mental Retardation, Autism, and Cerebral Palsy.
An avid SciFi fan, she reads using a digital recorder from RFB&D (Recordings for the Blind and Dyslexic). She looks forward to the time she spends in front of the computer, her eyes closed to the harsh light of the screen as her fingers furiously type out new and different ways to make life as hard as possible for the characters in her stories.
She has a piece of paper on her wall that says she received a B.S. in Rehabilitation Psychology. However, having been endowed with the attention span of a goldfish, she wonders if this was someone’s idea of a sick joke.
Her writing has included articles in newsletters, 250 blog entries–and counting–as well as this, her first book, Atto Run (available on Amazon.com with 2 billion other books).
Ben Berwick is a leading authority on British wit, British charm, and also on lying through his teeth. Therefore, if he claims to be handsome, dashing and intelligent, ask his wife for the correct details.
A proud father, a despairing Liverpool FC fan, and a big fan of watching fast cars go vroom vroom round a race track, Ben can also be found shouting at Legend of Zelda games. He likes nothing more than to snarl behind customers’ backs as they do/say something stupid, and wishes more of them would read his embarrassing write-ups of their stupidity.
Ben is also the author of the website Meerkat Musings, part blog, part elephant.
David Ellis writes poetry and prose over at his website TooFullToWrite. He has written his first couple of books and therefore considers himself to be above reproach and a master of his own destiny. If he then catches himself in the mirror, he quickly realises that he is indeed mortal and really should go and get a haircut.
He has been described as a modern day Indiana Jones (he hates snakes), a tea connoisseur, a perfect gentleman, a word magician, a pilot for hire (he can’t fly an actual plane but tends to travel the canyons of his mind instead) and a purveyor of unintentional humour in films.
David is British, just like NWR Reporter Ben (he has an accent – how sweet), has an uncanny ability to insert rhyme and rhythm into everything he can get his grubby little hands on and desires to be the next JK Rowling, albeit without the gender swap operation, as he is clearly doing all this for the fame, fortune and women. Sadly he has not seen any of these things lately but this has not dampened his desire to create and cause trouble, which he does so on a daily basis.
David also happens to be the son of a brilliant artist and yet cannot draw to save his life. If this isn’t the biggest example of irony in the world then he might as well eat his own hat.
He doesn’t take life too seriously and frankly you shouldn’t take him seriously either, if you know what is good for you.
And that’s our line-up of contributing writers. We hired them for their looks and sense of humor. At least, that’s what we saw when we checked their profiles on firstname.lastname@example.org.