Posted in News, Humor, Carla Louise

Australian Census, Politics and The Creation of Idiocy

So, as many of you probably know, I’m Australian.

Which sounds awesome. And it is, most of the time.

I bet, when you think of Australia, you picture sandy beaches and a laid-back culture (which, for the most part, it is).

Well, recently we had a vote for who our new Prime Minister would be (as well as senators and the like).

Which should be important, but we Australians go through Prime Ministers like Hogwarts goes through Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers.

Voting

However, our biggest fail so far is electing three seats of a party known as “One Nation” into parliament. Continue reading “Australian Census, Politics and The Creation of Idiocy”

Posted in Humor, News, Too Full To Write

Haiku News! A Round Up Of The Weekly News & Commentary in Haikus

Hello everyone.

Who would like something different for a Saturday evening?

(No! Not that! I’m not climbing into a cake for you no matter how much you are willing to pay me. And I really like cake but there are some things a man just won’t do to pay the bills.)

Where the hell was I? Oh yes, on with the show!

May I present to you all, a Weekly News Round Up & Commentary made up entirely of haikus!

(If you don’t know what haikus are then I suggest you hurry up and find out before all our teas and coffees get cold – hurry up, chop chop! Here’s a handy guide for you:-

Wikipedia – Haiku

I thought it was about time to combine my love of poetry with the news, so here we go! Continue reading “Haiku News! A Round Up Of The Weekly News & Commentary in Haikus”

Posted in 1 Point Perspective, Humor

The Professor Has Spoken!

If you’re like me, you sing in the car. If you’re also like me, you suck at knowing the actual lyrics to most of the songs you croon along with. Take for example the song I’ve linked by Professor Longhair.  For the most part, the lyrics are entirely decipherable – once you get past the first thirty seconds.  From zero to thirty is another story.  I’ve listened to that first half minute over and over to try to figure out what exactly the Professor is saying.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the great Professor Longhair, you can thank me later.  His album “House Party New Orleans Style” will remain in my shuffle at all times.  I’ve formally requested that his version of “Tipitina” be played at my funeral, and people damn well better dance when it does – Don’t yall make me get up outta dis here pine box! Continue reading “The Professor Has Spoken!”

Posted in Humor, Shouts from the Abyss

Hotel California: The Sequel

hotel-californiaHollywood can rehash movies, so why not songs? As the world runs out of notes this is the perfect time to get on the bandwagon (heh) of a hot new trend.

Song sequels are about to drop. Imagine! There are well over 97 million songs with new stories to tell. New narratives. New arrangements. New instrumentations! New vocal performances. New chances to grab for your wallet.

Don’t let that word fool you. That’s how Hollywood do it. Simply slap the word “new” on something old and you’re good to go. Instant creativity in action. Just add drugs.

Continue reading “Hotel California: The Sequel”

Posted in Floridaborne, Humor

Political Tumor

I’m supposed to write something funny for NWR in the middle of the political train wreck called the Democan and Repubcrat conventions?

Sure, right, you betcha.

All right!  I’ll try my hand at political tumor humor.

The Democratic Party is building a wall around their convention to keep politicians safe, but we shouldn’t build a wall on our southern border?

Then Debbie WhatsHerName-Shouldtz gets outed by Russian hackers and BOOOOOO’d off stage.  It looks like the hacker’s have a few of Hillary’s emails, too.  That should make an entertaining bed-time story.

I’ve seen memes of Trump’s face on Hitler’s body and Hillary’s face on Hitler’s body.

HILHIT.jpgTrumhit.jpg

From: Sodahead.com                               From: thegatewaypundit.com

Thankfully, I have not yet seen Hillary’s face on Trump’s body (and vice versa), but I’m positive there has to be a meme out there for that, too. Continue reading “Political Tumor”

Posted in Blogdramedy, News, Trends, Views

You Put Lipstick On A Lizard, It’s Still A Lizard

What the fucking fuck?

I could write this week about politics and plagiarism but I’m having a moment.

Just over a year ago, Ashley Madison users were “outed” after a major hack of their database. People who thought they were in a loving, mature relationship discovered they were actually living their lives with four-year olds who happened to have credit cards. Continue reading “You Put Lipstick On A Lizard, It’s Still A Lizard”