“I woke up still not dead again today.”  A song Willie Nelson wrote when he woke up to his obituary slathered all over the news.

So…I went on our illustrious founder’s Facebook page to wish her a happy birthday and it says she passed away.

I had the flu for 2 weeks, so maybe I’m just delirious, but when someone named Susan says her friend passed away, I believe her.  Susan is an honest name.

While I look for my cat that mysteriously disappeared, even though he never leaves the house, I will ponder Schrödinger’s cat, which is dead unless it’s not, until someone tells me which kind of box I can find Jay/Janet inside.

Okay!  I admit it! I haven’t written anything for NWR in…in

Dear God! 

SIX MONTHS?

Where did the thyme go?

Ah, the spice of life; hair today, gone tomorrow. If you don’t believe it, you haven’t seen what’s left on my head.

Over-dramatic representation

What’s new in the news world? 

Not much. 

Same old stories about rape gangs in Europe, civil war in Africa, famine, garbage islands the size of Australia in the Pacific, radioactive tuna, people of all races/colors/creeds fighting over wrongs that happened centuries ago while human trafficking happens right in front of them.

In other words, we never learn a D@%&#d thing.

Hmm…what do I want for breakfast?

That has to wait until I feed the cats, or they’ll be trying to steal my turkey ham and eggs.

Hey…something interesting on social media.  Poor woman!

I know, I know, what’s wrong with me, us, the world?  I actually found the non-medical term for it:

Yes, we are suffering from a bad case of OCD:

Other Countries Deficits

….and ADD

Any Distraction (will do) Disorder.

One day, I’ll donate the 20 blankets I don’t use to charity.  One day, I’ll go through my fridge and find the remains of that apricot cobbler I couldn’t finish.  Someday I’ll give $10 a month to help fight female genital mutilation…

Oh, look!  I don’t have to be concerned about 3rd world problems any longer!

I’m sooooo relieved!

Anyone who’s been keeping an eye on The Nudge Wink Report may have noticed it’s been quiet. I can’t confess to know why for everyone else, but for me, it’s been all about work – new job means new time constraints and a change to my patterns – there’s been a bit of a learning curve!

However, I am still here and I hope I speak for everyone else when I say so is The Nudge Wink Report. We’re an eccentric, nutty bunch of satirists (is that a word?) and we’re here to save the world, one bad pun at a time!