Archives for category: Humor

Bit of a double-header, this. Firstly, apologies for not posting when I should have – I know you were all desperate to see what else Darth Timon had to say, so to the millions of you reading this who I have let down – I am sorry. Secondly, apologies for posting out of turn, but better to do this now, whilst I remember and have time, than to forget, which between my memory and my circumstances, is a distinct possibility.

So, where have I been? Well, the short answer is that I started a new job. The long answer is that I have been here, there and everywhere, which adds up to one very tired meerkat. I’ve spent four days up in Doncaster on training, I’ve been to Cambridge and Enfield for meetings, I’ve taken part in three changeovers (more on that in a mo), all inside the month and a half that I’ve been in my new job. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it.

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I’m not even completely sure what day it is, thanks to the hectic schedule I’ve had.

In short, I used to sell bathrooms, now I sell sofas. Different pace, different philosophy and an opportunity to make a lot more money. It was a risk to leave where I was, but then, there were risks with staying put too. Still, I hadn’t banked on having to hoist sofas around on only my second day, nor ending up doing this twice more since I’ve been there. Sofas are heavy – who knew?

A week up in Doncaster for training was quite interesting, having never done anything like that before – heading further north might have meant colder weather, but surprisingly, it wasn’t too bad – and the hotel food… I may have over-indulged, every single night. There was however, one huge downside to that – it overlapped with a major event, something I’d been looking forward to since… well, the start of last year – Star Wars. I missed seeing the new movie with my wife and daughter for the sake of this new job, so it definitely owes me for that.

What else is going on? Well, aside from the hustle and bustle of a new job, it’s been a fairly quiet Christmas and life continues to tick by without too much fuss, which is how I like it really. I just wish the cold snap would end and we could have some heat!

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Is it just me or are women starting to look more masculine and men more feminine?

Leading man from the 1960’s 

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It’s not over yet but 2017 was the year I fully embraced the Stoli. And this will be my first Christmas without turkey. I refuse to get rid of the vodka that’s taking up shelf room in my freezer to make room for a Butterball. Watching Trump peck and scratch his way to obscurity is turkey enough for me.

funny-christmas-card-with-snowman-and-dog-with-red-envelope-canx25-3277-pThe field reporters for The Nudge Wink Report did a stellar job this year, blogging about this, that, and the other thing. We managed to find the funny every week, without missing…okay, we missed a few. Like that time Dave showed up wearing…huh. Just realized I can’t tell that story. Or any of the other reasons some of us missed our deadlines this year. *nudge, wink*

Management is so impressed relieved that we keep turning up even though the coffee around here comes FROM A CAN, they’ve given us the rest of the year off to go forth and be joyful. To find the reason for the season. To jingle our bells. Or to pinch the Grinch. Whatever toasts our chestnuts. Read the rest of this entry »