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Bit of a double-header, this. Firstly, apologies for not posting when I should have – I know you were all desperate to see what else Darth Timon had to say, so to the millions of you reading this who I have let down – I am sorry. Secondly, apologies for posting out of turn, but better to do this now, whilst I remember and have time, than to forget, which between my memory and my circumstances, is a distinct possibility.

So, where have I been? Well, the short answer is that I started a new job. The long answer is that I have been here, there and everywhere, which adds up to one very tired meerkat. I’ve spent four days up in Doncaster on training, I’ve been to Cambridge and Enfield for meetings, I’ve taken part in three changeovers (more on that in a mo), all inside the month and a half that I’ve been in my new job. Exhausted doesn’t even begin to cover it.

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I’m not even completely sure what day it is, thanks to the hectic schedule I’ve had.

In short, I used to sell bathrooms, now I sell sofas. Different pace, different philosophy and an opportunity to make a lot more money. It was a risk to leave where I was, but then, there were risks with staying put too. Still, I hadn’t banked on having to hoist sofas around on only my second day, nor ending up doing this twice more since I’ve been there. Sofas are heavy – who knew?

A week up in Doncaster for training was quite interesting, having never done anything like that before – heading further north might have meant colder weather, but surprisingly, it wasn’t too bad – and the hotel food… I may have over-indulged, every single night. There was however, one huge downside to that – it overlapped with a major event, something I’d been looking forward to since… well, the start of last year – Star Wars. I missed seeing the new movie with my wife and daughter for the sake of this new job, so it definitely owes me for that.

What else is going on? Well, aside from the hustle and bustle of a new job, it’s been a fairly quiet Christmas and life continues to tick by without too much fuss, which is how I like it really. I just wish the cold snap would end and we could have some heat!

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I’ve sat down on the train. I’m tired after a long day at work. I’ve actually got a headache, and I’m hoping for a quiet, peaceful journey. Will I get one… nope. Not at all. Why? Well, lurking in a nearby seat is a biological weapon, a chemical bomb, a vile, repugnant force.

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(is it behind me? Please, don’t be behind me!) Read the rest of this entry »

I fancy myself a writer. It’s a rather lofty aim of mine to one day write a novel – after all, apparently we all have one great novel in us. Personally, I’d like to know who keeps putting novels inside people. I mean, ew.

That aside, my aim would be to write a book for my daughter, who keeps asking me to tell her stories, especially spooky stories. The trouble is, I can’t simply magic up a story off the top of my head, I need to think about it and put it to paper, and my little girl is not nearly patient enough to wait for me to chew the fat and produce a thrilling tale. What I’m therefore doing is putting together a vampire story, and trying to carefully balance it so it’s appropriate for a seven year-old, whilst having it be scary. In theory I can do this, but lines about ‘torn flesh’ and ‘bloodied ruins’ might not be the best choice of words.

Still, to write ‘the creepy vampire bared his fangs’ seems just a little tame. Read the rest of this entry »