This Week’s Major News Headlines In Musical Numbers (Thanks Eurovision!)

Howdy all.

So, yesterday was the finale of the Eurovision Song Contest 2017 and I’m sad to say that the United Kingdom didn’t place very highly at all (as for the winner, well done Portugal!)

In honour of the musical masterpieces displayed this year (and every year) in the Eurovision Song Contest, I thought it would therefore be fun to sum up some of the biggest news articles of the last week from around the world in musical numbers 🙂

Hold on to your hats, glasses, purses and umbrellas folks, here we go.

 

Bruce Dickinson – Laughing in the hiding bush – Sean Spicer, Not So Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

When it comes to delivering daily (mis)information (including the biggest and best whoppers that any press pool has ever witnessed. Period!) Sean Spicer is not one to beat around the bush or to hedge his bets. His attempts to explain and justify the daily horrors that spew out of the current US Administration are admittedly tricky business. He plants his words carefully, even when they are laced with seeds of doubt announcing the daily nefarious actions of his flip flopping boss.

This week however, Sean found himself in a bit of hot water and lost in the wilderness, as Trump laid waste to FBI Director Comey on Tuesday evening, in a move that left many people in the press reeling as to why Comey was being fired in the midst of the investigations into Russian collusion in the 2016 Election.

As for poor old Sean…well, he was pretty much doing this when the press came knocking at his door for answers…

News Source:- Sean Spicer ‘hides in bushes’ as reporters look to question him over Donald Trump firing James Comey

 

The Bangles – Walk Like An Egyptian – Ancient Mummies and Improving Tourism

Yesterday also happened to be Mother’s Day in the US, so it seems fitting to have a story about Mummies in this ‘playlist’ too.

Egyptian archaeologists have discovered an ancient burial site holding at least 17 mummies, most of them fully intact, which could date back two millennia. The mummies themselves are believed to be approx 2,300 years old, which is exactly how old Mothers feel after dealing with their toddlers for a day.

Nowadays though, with shows like the The Walking Dead surging in popularity, I think that there is a much more appropriate term for our tireless (and very tired) Mothers who do everything for their kids.

News Source:- Mummies found in Egypt ancient burial site

 

Foo Fighters – Learn To Fly (because if not then in Japan it’s going to be death from the skies)

Over in Japan, things are very much turning into The Fifth Element, Back To The Future and possibly even Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (if you are old but still young at heart like me).

Flying cars are becoming a reality? Cool, I guess that means we can strike one of these off the official list! Also, don’t get me started on time travel, I’d probably go back and change so much that it would be a full time job and I’d have to uninvent it just to lead a normal life. Hey, maybe that happened already and that’s why we don’t have time travel right now. I think I will put “Invented Time Travel” on my CV, now that I have the rationale for why it doesn’t currently exist. Genius! 🙂

News Source:- Toyota ‘backs flying car project’ in Japan

 

Flight of the Conchords – Foux Du Fafa – Macron defeats Le Pen and he writes her out of the big picture

It was nail biting stuff in France this week, as Emmanuel Macron squared off against Marine Le Pen in an election that could have resulted in another potential political disaster with a female Trump equivalent from the far right taking up the reigns of France.

As with Trump and Brexit, I thought that this result would end up going pear shaped too and bring on an early heart attack for me and rest of the free world.

However, Macron went on to have a two thirds vote landslide victory, which is heartening to see, I honestly think that it will be for the benefit of the country and the European Union to have Macron steering the ship, particularly since he is very compassionate in a lot of his policies. It would also appear that two thirds of the voting population of France agrees with me.

My Doctor is going to be happy now that I can cancel my anxiety medication prescription for a week at least (or until the next Trump Executive Order gets drafted up).

News Source:- French election results: Emmanuel Macron says France facing ‘immense task’ to rebuild European unity as he defeats Marine Le Pen

 

Weird Al Yankovic – Livin’ in the Fridge – Food safety at home and abroad

Nice try Time magazine but you aren’t going to scare me away from my fridge! Also the filthiest place in my kitchen is actually the kitchen (until I’ve tidied it up).

News Source:- These Are the Filthiest Places In Your Kitchen

 

The Bonedrivers – Gimme’ Lightning – Because every News Report talks about and finishes with the weather even if it is all the way over in Instanbul

I got nothing for this one. I just wanted to include both this excellent song and Istanbul as another international location 🙂

Actually, let’s finish this news entry with another song about the weather too by one of the very best bands in the world.

News Source:- Fatih Mosque is seen as lightning strikes over the Istanbul skyline during a thunderstorm on May 7, 2017 in Istanbul, Turkey

 

And that’s your lot for this time round.

Want more musical inspired news? Or just want to suggest other songs that I should check out myself? Then drop me a line with your suggestions and maybe it can become a regular feature 🙂

Thanks for reading, hope you had fun and until next time, keep dancing friends.

Now for my Scheduled Post…

Last week I posted when I thought it was my turn to post, and it turns out it wasn’t. I poured my creative juices into my rant, and now I’m squeezing the lemons of creativity and getting only bitterness.

So, what to say? There’s one gigantic orange elephant in the room, or to be precise, an orange elephant that will soon take up residence in the White House, and I’ve deliberately avoided posting about this on my main site or elsewhere, up to this point, in order to digest this news. Three days on, I still have indigestion. I was sorely tempted to simply post this:

I think Timon’s various looks of worry and fear accurately sum up the mood of the world. A man with a proven track record for bankrupting businesses is now going to hold sway over the global economy. I hoped everyone likes tinned peaches. A man who gets the thumbs up from quasi-dictator Vladimir Putin (if that doesn’t scare you nothing will) will be responsible for making policy.

Trump isn’t even the worst thing about this. The Republican party, a party so divided it’s mathematically impossible to explain, has held the Senate and Congress. They now control all three branches of the US government system, and yet half the party despises Trump. What does that spell for Trump’s presidency, and by extension, how will it impact those of us who live elsewhere? Maybe, just maybe, the utter failure of Trump to work with his party will break the GOP to the point where the US electorate realises they made a collectively huge mistake and the Dems crush them next time around.

Though part of me actually wants Trump to succeed. A tanking US economy will inevitably tank the UK economy too (assuming the Tories don’t manage that first). If Trump follows through with his stated goal of cutting back support for NATO, where will the buffer come from to prevent future Russian aggression in countries like Ukraine? I’ve heard the ludicrous suggestion that Hillary wanted war with Russia – erm, hands up if you truly believe that? The men in white coats are waiting outside.

I’m struggling to make this post light-hearted and funny. It’s proving to be an epic challenge. How can I be funny when Trump’s intended VP, Pence, believes he can ‘cure’ people of homosexuality? Or that smoking isn’t bad for you?

Within days of Trump’s victory, there’s been a surge in racist and sexist tweets and comments from his supporters, who are taking this as the freedom to be as openly vile as possible. I know I know – it isn’t fair to tarnish them all like that – but it’s not a promising sign.

Le sigh.

 

The Trump Card

I know, I know, I know, I said I wouldn’t do serious. I said that last time – see?

But how can I ignore the encroaching and onrushing US election, now only days away, that promises to refine the world? Orange is getting closer to Hilary in the polls – FBI, if you’re reading this (and by using the word FBI, I assume you’ll track this post), what the fuck were you thinking?!

This is serious. This is like, the most serious of all serious things that could be happening right now. The future not only of ‘Murica but the entire world hinges on the decision of the US electorate, and meanwhile, you’re stirring up emails again, and they’re not even relevant! Does the word ‘timing’ compute in Quantico? I watch Criminal Minds – when Hotchner isn’t kicking his colleagues he’s got a smart head on his shoulders – assign your agents to the task of stopping serial killers, rather than poking around emails.