Archives for posts with tag: television

reporter-1“The storm is here,” said the governor. Everyone looked out their windows and said, “Hey, he’s right!”

Bulletin, bulletin, bulletin! Bulletin, bulletin, bulletin! The sun did not come up this morning, huge cracks have appeared in the earth’s surface, and big rocks are falling out of the sky. Details twenty-five minutes from now on Action Central News, kids!

–George Carlin, Take-offs and Put-ons, 1967

First Harvey, now Irma. Leave it to a woman to be forced to pick up after a man, even though an unimaginable gulf exists between them. What else is new? Read the rest of this entry »

Survivor30logo

Survivor kicked off its 30th season last month with Worlds Apart set off the coast of Nicaragua. Once again I was glued to the TV like a contestant’s soggy underwear to their nether regions in the sweltering tropical heat. A few Mainers have competed on the show over the years, with one actually winning the grand prize. (Anyone remember BobBest season evah.)

This year we have this man to cheer on: Dan from Gorham.

survivor-2015-dan-foley-06

image: survivorfandom

Wow. Ayuh, he certainly looks like a true Maineiac. Some highlights of his quest for the million dollars: Nobody on his tribe can stand him, he peed on his own jelly fish sting and he’s free-balling it because he lost his undies in the ocean. Yee-ouch! Looks like he’s all chafed up with no place to go. I have no idea what that means.

Watching this middle-aged postal worker slog around the beach with his sweaty furry belly hanging out made me think, Dammit, if HE can do it, so can I! As luck would have it, I ALSO have a giant gut, and yes, it’s very furry and I can bitch and sweat like nobody’s business! (And if I had balls, you’d better believe I’d go commando, too.)

But before I send in my application, the rules of Survivor have to change slightly to accommodate me. Read the rest of this entry »

It was a grand experiment putting cameras in the middle of a group of people and recording their every fart for 72 hours, editing it down to 18 minutes of concentrated reality and then selling it to the networks.  It was also an incredible way to cut costs on talent, with no paychecks being cut for actors or writers.  Despite someone coming up with an even less expensive form of entertainment, called YouTube, we must accept that reality TV is here to stay. Read the rest of this entry »