InZombieA

Oh, Man!  The 4^th Wednesday snuck up on me like a Ninja fairy, her little wings softly fluttering as she chops off my head.

From shutterstock.com.  But having your head handed to you feels more like shudderstalk.

Time certainly does fly when you’re slogging through a month, ½ comatose from insomnia.  It’s been about as much fun as an ant race…between 2 dead ants.

As I stare at the computer with 68 pounds of fat white dog on my quickly numbing feet, it occurs to me…for no apparent reason…that people throw up stupid sayings all the time.

That’s what I’ll write for NWR this month!  Stupid sayings &…stuff!

I’ll start with one that I heard a girl tell the star football player when I was in high school,  “If a bird had your brain it would fly backwards.”

?

Perhaps she was taking the advice of Marilyn Monroe?

“Fear is stupid.  So are regrets.”   —  Marilyn Monroe

Now for a couple of pictures from www.crazyhyena.com

Sandy Claws is coming to town.  This should get interesting the first time someone honks his horn a foot away.  Hmmm…bloody claws is coming to town?  Only if the guy on the motor scooter still has a chest.

I like the sage advice in black, white, and brazen:

Yep.

Now for a few from www.lovethispic.com (They have more fun to choose from than Marilyn Monroe with a crown).

Below you will find the ultimate in stupidity.  But then again, we’re dealing with a cat:

If you’re feeling magnanimous, you could give to a charitable cause.  Help Bubba save Moron car insurance.

Send all donations to Bubba DeDogg, 13 Dumass Drive, Podunk, Florida (Be sure to zoom in on the passengers side)

Hope y’all enjoyed this relatively short foray into stupidity.  Were I not 3 braincells away from an official diagnosis of Zombie Insomnia Disorder (ZID for short), I might write more.

But this poster is all I have to offer at the moment.

If you want to know where this poster comes from, it’s on the right side, but since I’m this deep into the ZID, all I can read is 2012.  I wonder…am I destined to be a general in the InZombieA apocalypse? Not the best choice unless you’re looking for a war destined to be a dead giveaway.

I’ll shut up now.

3 sayings that drive me to the fractaling edge of not-quite-right

It’s no secret that I have more than my share of pet peeves (like women who squat, pee on the toilet seat and don’t clean it up), phobias (like the fear of getting to the airport late as in

https://nudgewinkreport.wordpress.com/2014/07/30/so-this-is-your-brain-on-anxiety/)

and the…

)))***!!!   3 sayings that make me scream out exclamation points   !!!***(((

1. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Really?  Is that like saying whatever doesn’t make you fatter keeps you healthy?  If that’s so, perhaps I should eat paper and stop exercising?  That makes just about as much sense.  Don’t you people know anything? 

We’re all going to die eventually, and it doesn’t matter how strong you are when that happens.  Here’s the strongest person on Earth killing the last (and 2nd strongest) person on Earth. Once the food runs out, s/he’ll be dead, too. The only thing whatever doesn’t kill you CAN do (while you’re waiting to die) is turn you into a psychopath (see #3), a sociopath, or make you just plain crazy.

Cleaning up your writing

))))****SPECIAL REPORT****((((

(And it only took 2 months to write it)

All right, I admit it.  I started this post on December 2 and didn’t touch it again until 5 days ago.  Are you happy now?  I didn’t wait until the last day of forever to get my report together!   So there!

 Let’s talk about effective cleaning practices.

1. Divide your house into small sections (on paper).
2. Pick a small section of the house to clean each day.
3. Procrastinate until company is coming, then complain about clumps of dog hair the size of tumbleweeds and the inch thick layer of dust on everything as you clean.

All right,  I admit it!  I skip number 1 and 2 and go directly to 3.  In between the cleaning marathons from hell (that happen just before the yearly visits by adventurous family members) I write more chapters for (or edit a bunch of) books in a series I’m writing.