Over the past two months, I’ve been writing down all the things I wanted to look for from Black Friday to Cyber Monday. 

On top of writing 57,000 words for NaNoWriMo in 30 days (That book is going to need a lot of help).

Only one item was out of stock.  If you buy it, and it says the order went through, how can it be out of stock?  Maybe the employees get first pick and you get the condolence card?

I know that people have a variety of opinions about Black Friday and Blue Cyber Monday

The pragmatic among us have this to say

Some people wear armor

Others prepare for battle

Some face this awful challenge:

Unfortunately, after shopping at 10 on-line stores and buying something from every one of them (sometimes twice), my bank account looks like a kids wallet shortly before his monthly allowance hits his hand.

Why does a person like me — someone who hates crowds — prefer to shop online?

I did mention being trampled before, didn’t I?

It was 1984.  My daughter wanted a cabbage patch doll for Christmas.  Yes, I risked decapitation by stiletto for THIS:

Besides the fact that I’m not willing to face death to get stuff any longer, another reason I didn’t want to go anywhere was the huge amount of food that went through my pie hole.

And the fact that I’d been standing for 8 hours, cooking.  After all the turkey was roasted, eaten, cut up, made into frozen lunches for 3 weeks, pies burned and dishes washed, I was ready to do this:

If you find a man who says this, I’ll faint on the spot (probably where the X is marked inside the oven)

I’m looking forward to Christmas, where I can send my gifts to relatives who still want to put up the tree, stuff 100 gifts under it and hang fake stockings on their gas-lit fireplace.

Along with trample-shopping, I avoid the office Christmas party.  This guy seems to attend every single office party in existence.

Frankly, Thanksgiving cleanup is enough for me to avoid more housework torture during the holidays

I rather agree with this sentiment

What will I be doing during Christmas — besides working every single day of December to get my day job done on time? 

I’ll be typing at my books and wondering what the hell I was thinking when I wrote that piece of $#!T for NaNoWriMo.