Posted in 1 Point Perspective, Humor

What’s In A Name?

Not the actual cat. Image from the interwebs

Some folks in Iowa recently named a rescued kitten “Firecracker” after veterinarians determined that the feline’s facial injuries had likely been caused by some sort of fireworks. In the interest of blog humor, I won’t get on a soapbox and rail against the sadistic nature of the cretins who perpetrate such acts upon innocent, sweet animals (or even cats for that matter).

Instead, I’d like to question the wisdom of christening a cat with such an awful name.  If it was a feisty tabby with an explosive personality and the potential to tear digits to shreds, then a moniker like Firecracker might be an apt handle.  Naming this little guy after the explosive that blew his whiskers off seems a bit cruel.  On the plus side, since it’s a cat, the name doesn’t really matter as they only respond to the sound of electric can openers anyway.

Naming pets is kind of an egotistical act of futility.  In the wild, they manage just fine without any sort of name at all.  Thanks to us, African parrots are all called Polly, toucans are Sam, and orange cats are typically Morris. If that zoo had the foresight to not tag that gorilla a nice African sounding Harambe, 20-somethings would have far less to put on their ironic memes and T-shirts.  Bored frat boys would not likely popularize the battle cry of “Dicks out for that gorilla they killed in the zoo that time.”

Remember my last post? It sucked too! Image from keppcalm-o-matic dot co dot uk

It’s fun to go to the off-leash dog park and listen to frustrated owners calling out the poor choices in names of their disobedient dogs.  New dog owners often give their pups awful names, unaware of how often and loudly they’ll have to use it.

Cumberbatch! Come!….CUMBERBATCH!  Come on boy!”  That shit never gets old.  If my allergies weren’t so bad I’d go spend the morning at the off-leash cat park.

 

 

 

 

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Author:

I used to write a fair amount here on my blog, but then I got lazier and now I only manage to write over at The Nudge Wink Report once every month or so.  I only write there because of assigned deadlines and my unflagging allegiance to a woman I've never met but love anyway, the lovely Blogdramedy herself.  My current profile there is a 30,000 word run-on-sentence and ends up keeping people from scrolling all the way to the comments section.  As any blogger will tell you, posting without getting comments is like kissing your first cousin - and not in a hot, West Virginia sort of way.  I'm hoping this little blurb can take the place of the other profile and allow people to actually reach the comments section.

14 thoughts on “What’s In A Name?

    1. Oh My Darlikng where hve you been? I been mixing you so and became confussed without whatever it was. Still confussed. Moffed. No longer on banks of River. Head south, Old Man, head south.
      No barn.
      No s++t…….
      Mixing you foreverl.
      Darlikng R.

      Like

      1. Dahling, I’ve been remiss in maintaining my side of the relationship! What with the strain of preparing for the end of days and brewing beer for sipping during the apocalypse, there’s little time for barn chores. I hope you can forgive me.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I realize a cat doesn’t care what it’s name is, but to us humans naming a pet is a sign of affection and respect.
    Kind of like the same reason why some guys name their dick.

    Like

  2. The ex had a dog when he was young. He named her “Girl.”
    Yes, I married a man who couldn’t be bothered enough to give his pet a proper name. That should have been my first clue.
    *face palm*
    *eye roll*
    *frames divorce papers*
    *sigh of relief*
    *grin*

    Liked by 1 person

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