Posted in 1 Point Perspective, Humor

to be determined

 

There is a player on the Cavaliers who believes the earth is flat.  His name is Kyrie Irving and he was born on the other side of what he must see as giant pizza box in a place called Australia.  One might be inclined to imagine that anyone who thinks the earth is flat must have had a sub-par education.  Kyrie went to a prestigious prep school in northern New Jersey, and later attended a place called Duke University.  Either those two institutions are guilty of not providing their star athletes with the most basic of educations, or Kyrie chose to ignore the astronomy portion of his curriculum.  Kyrie may be one of the only Duke alum who thinks the earth is flat, but he’s far from alone.

Perhaps Kyrie and the others only believe in things which they can see with their naked eyes.  Despite the likelihood that he’s spent more time at thirty five thousand feet than the rest of us, he’s been unable to see any curvature of the planet below, and therefore, it is flat (except the Rockies, which are bumpy).  It’s interesting to wonder why there’s never been a fail video on YouTube featuring someone falling off the edge of the planet, excuse me,  I meant plane.

We can assume that Kyrie does not believe in the existence of atoms either.  The building blocks of our world, in his mind, are small grains of sand – there’s nothing smaller.  Wait until he gets old like me and his eyes go bad, then the smallest particle will be a poppy seed.  Photosynthesis? Nope. The wind should also not exist.  When the snow is hitting Cleveland sideways off the lake, it’s because gravity must have shifted.

Santa Claus, on the other hand, is very real.  He’s easy to spot at any shopping mall around December, and down at the liquor store once in a while buying blackberry brandy and scratch offs.

On a more serious note; is believing the earth is flat any more or less ludicrous than believing that global warming is fake news?  Surprisingly, many flat earthers do believe in global warming, they just prefer that you refer to it as Planar Heating

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Author:

I used to write a fair amount here on my blog, but then I got lazier and now I only manage to write over at The Nudge Wink Report once every month or so.  I only write there because of assigned deadlines and my unflagging allegiance to a woman I've never met but love anyway, the lovely Blogdramedy herself.  My current profile there is a 30,000 word run-on-sentence and ends up keeping people from scrolling all the way to the comments section.  As any blogger will tell you, posting without getting comments is like kissing your first cousin - and not in a hot, West Virginia sort of way.  I'm hoping this little blurb can take the place of the other profile and allow people to actually reach the comments section.

7 thoughts on “to be determined

  1. As someone who lives near Cleveland and attends Cavs game, when this news first came out about my favorite player, I thought, “No, this can’t be true. Say it isn’t true! Surely he’s pulling a Joaquin Phoenix and pranking us all.” I’m still holding out hope that’s the case. But in the meantime, my fathead of him is staying in my closet. Oh, Kyrie. Kyrie, Kyrie, Kyrie. Sigh.

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    1. A friend believes that the whole thing is just about people who are already famous wanting to get more fame; to trend on Yahoo and have people notice ones Tweets. You have to admit, coming out with the flat earth chatter did raise some eyebrows.

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  2. Huh? How bizarre, how bizarre.

    On an unrelated note, how nice to see the top of your head around the blogosphere again! Hope all is great in your corner of the world.

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