Posted in 1 Point Perspective, Humor

Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

Subway is now portraying themselves as purveyors of natural, wholesome sammiches. The ad agency must be banking on the American public forgetting all about their clients having used a material commonly found in yoga mats in their bread.  One can’t blame the ad agency, after all, they’re dealing with an American public which is generally thought to have the attention span of a caffeinated flea.

Loyal readers may recall this photo from a post I wrote about a woman being served sandwiches made from her own pooch. It's a bastardized Hardee's ad with no reference to yoga mats, Subway or memory. I forget why I put it in here.
Loyal readers may recall this photo from a post I wrote about a woman being served sandwiches made from her own pooch. It’s a bastardized Hardee’s ad with no reference to yoga mats, Subway or memory. I forget why I put it in here.

By the same token, I know people who haven’t been swimming in the ocean since seeing “Jaws” in 1976.  They just can’t forget about it.  If they dare to wade in past their ankles, they start hearing that music;  “Duhhhh-Dumm…duhhh-dumm…DUMM DUMM DUMM!”  Next thing you know, they’re back to baking themselves on the blanket and considering a walk up to the boardwalk to get some curly fries.  They may well have read about the risks of eating fried food and how getting sunburns is more dangerous to you than a great white, but they’ve conveniently forgotten about it.

Hey Moe! Curly Fries!! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
Hey Moe! Curly Fries!! Nyuk nyuk nyuk!

I had a particularly unpleasant experience a couple of years ago.  Many of the perpetrators are no longer around, but still, I can’t forget about it.  Part of me knows that I need to let it go, but part of me is much more stubborn about it.  I tell myself that never forgetting will allow me to keep my defenses up and avoid ever having to deal with any such witch hunt again.  My logic may be well intentioned, but I wonder sometimes if I’ll be sitting in a rocking chair at Sunnyvale Convalescent Care someday rambling on about it to some poor soul who thinks Nixon is in the white house.

Yes it's a real crown. I'm the damn king of this stinky nursing home!
Yes it’s a real crown. I’m the damn king of this stinky nursing home!

I had a great idea of how I could wrap this post up in a neat little somewhat humorous bow, but true to form, I forgot it.  I do still recall the jingle of a commercial for the International House of Pancakes from the early 70’s, but that doesn’t really help me just now. If the ending comes to me, I’ll try to remember to put it in the comments section below.

 

Advertisements

Author:

I used to write a fair amount here on my blog, but then I got lazier and now I only manage to write over at The Nudge Wink Report once every month or so.  I only write there because of assigned deadlines and my unflagging allegiance to a woman I've never met but love anyway, the lovely Blogdramedy herself.  My current profile there is a 30,000 word run-on-sentence and ends up keeping people from scrolling all the way to the comments section.  As any blogger will tell you, posting without getting comments is like kissing your first cousin - and not in a hot, West Virginia sort of way.  I'm hoping this little blurb can take the place of the other profile and allow people to actually reach the comments section.

8 thoughts on “Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

  1. > [T]hey’re dealing with an American public which is generally thought to have the attention span of a caffeinated flea.

    Are you Mark Twain in disguise? Because that be some brilliant writing.

    I salute you for avoiding the word “Jared” in this post. Every time a Subway commercial plays—and I literally mean every time—I yell “Jared” at the TV. I do something similar with Volkswagen ads but for them I use the word “liars.”

    I like how they think a few glitzy pieces of propaganda will make us forget the truth.

    I read a book once that talked about the origins of Subway, how it was so cutthroat, the shady practices they used, and how the franchisees were treated shabbily. It might have been McDonalidzation of Society or Fast Food Nation.

    There’s a movie coming out about Ray Kroc, the guy who founded McDonald’s. He said of the business world: “It’s dog eat dog and rat eat rat.” Just the kind of language I like to hear from the people who make our food. 🙄 He also said, “If a competitor was drowning I’d stick a hose in his mouth.”

    He was a real nice and classy guy.

    To sum up, yeah, I don’t like Subway sandwiches very much.

    Like

  2. Subway blah. Unfortunately I was one of those people who was convinced Jaws was out to get me. Thankfully a visit to universal studios cured me. Stupid shark

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t see why I can’t swim in the ocean, and then go for some fries later. After all, I can’t be killed by both great white shark and curly fries, it would at most have to be one of those things.
    Even if I completely exclude eating food and becoming food from my lifestyle choices, my chances are still not good.

    Liked by 1 person

Nudge us with a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s