Posted in Humor

America …. What The Fuck?

Dear America,

I don’t get you. At all.

I mean, firstly, this confusion started when I discovered you don’t really do tea. Or have kettles.

Image result for cup of tea

This is a mistake on your part, America. Tea – proper tea, brewed tea – is amazing. And not having kettles is seriously weird.

Also, I’ve always been flabbergasted by the fact that you don’t use the Metric system. I mean, Celsius and metres, Americans. Come the fuck on.

Image result for you guys to celsius

However, things have gotten more serious than your lack of tea and kettles and the fact that you use Fahrenheit and not Celsius.

Donald Trump is potentially going to be your next President, and we need to seriously talk about this, because it’s one thing to have shitty coffee and pumpkin spice lattes and no kettles for your tea, but it is another to be this close to the election when a sexist, misogynistic, racist, bigot, sexually-assaulting predator is potentially going to become your President.

And will then, of course, have access to your nuclear weapons.

That we need to talk about.

And we need to talk about the facts, because some of you seem to not understand facts.

  1. Bill Clinton is not running for President.
  2. Yes, a woman accused Bill Clinton of rape.
  3. However, her accusations weren’t proven. There wasn’t enough evidence for a trial. That doesn’t mean she wasn’t raped, but it’s been almost 40 years. That doesn’t make her experience mean any less, but the reality is it can’t be proven. At all. Even if she had gone straight to the police, it’s quite likely nothing would have happened.
  4. That is a fault on the justice system. In regards to rape, we’re pathetic (not just Americans … mainly world-wide).
  5.  I doubt Bill Clinton went to his wife and said he had sex with another woman, let alone that he raped her. Whilst I don’t doubt that Hillary thanked Juanita, Juanita’s statement of what Hillary said doesn’t reflect a threat to me. However, I can understand that, if she had been raped, her reflections and interpretations might have felt that way. And that’s perfectly acceptable … but it doesn’t mean Hillary threatened her.
  6. Hillary did not harass at twelve-year-old rape victim. She defended a client she didn’t want to defend, and he happened to be a rapist. Her duty, as a defence lawyer, was to defend her client. This is not the same as harassing a twelve-year-old.
  7. While defending a rapist may seen reprehensible to you, you also have to remember that people are innocent until proven guilty. The man was entitled to a defence.
  8. You cannot scream that Hillary is the devil incarnate, but turn a blind eye when judges – like the judge in Brock Turner’s case – give minimum, light, or no sentences in regards to rape. The jury has found him guilty: the judge has given a shit sentence. Who is worse? The person that was hired to do a job … or the person that, after being presented with the evidence and a guilty verdict, decided the rapist deserved “better”?
  9. Trump is sexist.
  10. Trump has admitted to sexual assault, and implied that he has sexually assaulted women before and since.
  11. Trump is racist.
  12. Trump is a bigot.
  13. Trump changes his mind regularly.
  14. Trump has no clear policies.
  15. The policies Trump has aren’t good.
  16. Hillary is literally the better candidate.
  17. Yes, you have other options … but Trump or Hillary is going to be elected. You need to pick one. It’s probably better if it’s not the guy who thinks sexual assault is okay.

America: the rest of the world is counting on you.

Don’t fuck this shit up. It’s not forgivable if you fuck this up the way it is when you screw up the tea thing.

This shit is real.

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Author:

My name is Carla Robinson and I’m 26 years old. I love fashion, cooking, travelling and animals. I’m an English & History teacher, and have taught at three different schools in the past five years. If you’re interested in following me more closely, please check out my Instagram page: https://instagram.com/carlalouise01/ Or my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/melodramaticconfessionsofcarlalouise/

72 thoughts on “America …. What The Fuck?

    1. This is brilliant!!! While I don’t agree on the whole Metric System thing…I do quite agree on the tea pot. My best friend and her family are from England and they have taught me to love so many things, like Yorkshire Pudding, Lamb with Mint Sauce, Cadbury Chocolate, Shrimp Chips and Tea!! Also about our presidential race right now, it is quite a joke. I am disappointed that these are our candidates. They are both terrible choices in my opinion, at this point it is a matter of the lesser of two evils.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The metric system is so much less confusing. I’m not gonna lie. Everything’s so simple. Ha ha ha I’m glad you like those things!!! I agree, it is about the lesser of two evils. That was recently Australia’s election, although on a much smaller, less catastrophic scale!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. The metric system dumbs people down. This political show is all unreal. Hillary made Trump. They are both actors, and probably way more guilty than Martha Steward, who would make a great president. She haves tea? Bernie Sanders was treated like a bitch and I wish the situation was purely Man made, Ladies, and I am sorry for Trump, who is a sad micropenishead. You are playing into junk gender politics where we all lose. Unless you are an elite, causing trouble, speak to one issue. Tea is Chinese, natural and brilliant. Metric is French, arbitrary and stupid. Using politics to make the world stupid, is American pastime. Millions of girls need help that Trump nor Hillary will provide for, and the story is a pussy grab admission on a soap opera set, not her breaking rules of law.

    Purpose of dividing people. I don’t vote. I should not comment. Just keep carpet f-bombing uour readers over Trump and eventually we will respect your position.

    Like

    1. The metric system dumbs people down?
      Tell that to all the people who use the fucking metric system. Which is almost the entire world. And as America isn’t leading in anything … I’d go with no, the metric system doesn’t dumb people down. But nice try.
      I don’t care who has tea. Are you fucking for real? That’s not the point. I was making a joke about Americans and tea. I don’t give a shit which politicians drink tea. I mean, I thought that was pretty fucking clear … but then you say the metric system dumbs people down.
      I’m kind of looking at one of the dumbest people I’ve ever come across, who seems to lack basic comprehension skills in regards to the joke I made about tea.
      I swear. I’m an Australian. I will fucking swear as much as I fucking want. You can fucking respect that or you fucking can’t, but it’s fucking up to you. Regardless, my usage of fuck doesn’t determine how fucking accurate (or inaccurate) an argument of mine may be, and therefore it’s my fucking right to use fucking as much as I fucking want. But thanks for pointing that out. I was fucking unaware of how much fucking I was using in a fucking sentence. Now it’s much more fucking clear.
      Regardless of how crap Hillary may be, Trump is worse.
      End of fucking story.
      The tea was a joke. Do you know what a joke is? Is it hard to understand? The joke was that an American friend brought to my attention that they a) don’t really drink tea and b) don’t have kettles. As an Australian, I found that absurd.
      It was a segway into my conversation about the presidential campaign. Was that not clear? Because it seems to be clear for everyone else, and yet you struggled.
      The Metric system is also used throughout the world. It’s simplistic, and easy to understand. It makes no sense that America would be a stand-alone country on this issue. That’s just fucking stupid.
      Hillary has broken no laws. At least, none that have been proven. I suggest you look up the Fact Checkers. You seem to confuse fact and fiction.
      Trump admitted to sexually assaulting women. That’s not a soap opera set. That’s sexual assault.
      Is that enough fucks? Or do you think that respect can be earned without commenting ignorantly on someone’s fucking post and asking them to change their fucking language choices because it makes you fucking uncomfortable?
      Also, yes, I can keep going with the fucks. I can also through in shit, damn, wanker, fuck, hell, crap, arse, cocksucker and any other fucking thing you’d like – just try me.
      If you don’t vote, can’t read and comprehend what you’ve read, and are spouting ignorant, nonfactual opinions, I suggest you don’t comment.
      Because whilst you may respect people based on whether they fucking swear or not, I respect people based on their level of intelligence.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. The metric system allows people the ability to forget fractional relationships. My main point of scientific cultural contention. I am not looking for respect, or tea or defending Trump. I am saying that the metric system, like politics, is a dumb compromise that seems greatly useful, for now. Just wait and see how confused humanity gets about weights and measures. What does whilst mean? Is that Ben in Australian? Clinton propped up Trump, to get people going. Give me an inch, and I can take a mile. Fancy Australian grammar interlaced with sailor talk is not the way forward. One metre at a time…please.

        Like

        1. Ummm …. my “fancy Australian grammar” is just the way I speak. I happen to be an English teacher, so I’m sorry if the way I write is too grammatically correct for you. But …. you’re going to have to deal.
          Maybe you should Google what ‘whilst’ means. It’s really very easy, and it’ll expand your vocabulary.
          What the hell does Ben have to do with anything? Like, seriously, I don’t even get your point. What is Ben in Australian? I literally don’t get what you’re saying.
          And I’ll swear as much as I like, thank you very much. Had you been polite in the beginning, instead of being asinine, then maybe different – but I’m going to use the language that I feel is appropriate because that’s just how I speak, and I don’t respond well to condescension.
          Considering the people at CERN use the Metric system, I think they’d disagree with your analysis. And as I know two people who work there, I think they’d disagree heavily with you.
          Regardless … does it matter? Really? We can argue over which is better all we want, but the rest of the world is on my side. Hell, even scientists within the States often use the metric system. But I really don’t think me taking the piss out of the metric system is meant to be the focus.
          The focus is meant to be on the presidential campaign.
          Clinton didn’t prop Trump up. America created Trump. Well, part of America did.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. If we stuck to politics then, sure by’, just unplug the kettle. Metric system can work for science when the beakers bust out and bunsen burners get fired up. It just makes ordinary folks like us unhandy in the real world for lack of unarbitrary reference, in my opinion. I am not inventing this arguement, or making it central, just referencing it. I am not qualified to appraise the metric system, nor, have an analysis of it that is original. I really do feel that too much metric is monotonous, and makes for boring measures.

            Why focus on steam and condensation, complex smoggy demoratic systems? Google Luke Howard, do we not have scientists like him anymore? I do not know how cloud scientists work these days with all the digital distractions.

            Trump is a Hyena, Clinton is a Jackal.
            Supercombovermicropenis
            Scarylipstickclownvagina

            Elect The Wizard of New Zealand as US President. The people are needy. Just bring back the hogshead and the respect for humanity?
            Bill created Hillary by cheating on her famously. Clinton created Trump by denying us citizen Sanders.
            The world is on your side, Carla Louise. You are more younger, smarter, and polite than I. I, whilst, ben living ignorantly in NFLD. Science, climate, even grammer and good manners are on your side. Please, let me make a point: it matters not if I were polite. Polite is euphemism for agreeable, and see how you attempt to dominate by using vulgar sailor lingo for sacred sex acts I should only hear from my Wife on the weekend? Why imply that I care if you swear? Respond to fact, and make a huge salient, cogent point on the presidential race, all two of them, not my personality, online, in a swearing tea room?! You are a close to being a bigot to me girl, a d it hurts my feeling so, you know. I am merely antagonistic to your ideals. Not your generation, or person. I met the band, Metric. So there. Melodramatic confession, and I win the game you created online. You can ne er outswear me, or out melodramatic me, and if I was a teacher of students, I would avoid blogging fuck a thousand times a day maybe. I work for the post office. No one cares what I say, Metric dont care, and you should be aware of your important image, for the children.
            Inherit the Earth progressive, blogging personalities. I will just go outdoors and do something constructive. Tell my jokes and gripes to lamposts, and tiny dogs. Maybe Clinton is the best choice? Is there a choice? Bernie was cheated.

            Maybe children need a teacher willing to be fresh? I do not know. I am old, square, and not hip. I just got a tablet.
            Clinton did prop Trump up in media, follow the $.
            He is her distraction. People see how stupid he is, she will win, but she is all but ready to go where Mother Steward went. Who let the Bushes get in power? Who let Hitler win his elections? The fourth estate did. Media. Journalism. Deal with it, blogger. You have the power, to speak. Not cheerlead. Hillary is not someone to beat a drum for woman! These motherfuckers are scandalous pirrates compared to you and I and we should ignore them. CERN are materialistic and meatheaded in their approach to systems modelling. Wasteful. Thick-headed, In my opinion, CERN is happy, to fuckin waste money that kids need to survive. People be trying to raise kids woman, build community, and foster decency.

            Fuck CERN. God love cup a tea. Long live freedom of expression, and long fruitless arguing over puppet shows.

            For the record, I did not compare Clinton to Hitler. I compared the media, to the media, and plead the fourth, estate, follow $.

            I apologize for the long stupid comment, and admit, I am not credible or knowledgable. Speak your truth, like Hillary, and go high and mighty, when the idiots like me go low and get silly. Thanks for hosting a tea party. It was fun.

            Like

            1. I don’t understand you at all.
              You want to make the argument about Clinton and Trump … and yet you spent several paragraphs on the metric system.
              Perhaps the fact that you’re old – your words, not mine – works against you. I’ve seen it before. People get to a certain age and they’re comfortable with what they grew up with. It doesn’t matter what’s necessarily better, it’s what they like and accept.
              It will happen to me. It’s probably already started happening to me. It’s life, and it’s the way it works.
              Just because you dislike the metric system, doesn’t mean it’s not good. Just because you don’t agree with the work that those at CERN do, doesn’t mean it’s not valuable. The work those do at CERN is incredibly valuable. One of my friends is an astrophysicist – she’s currently working on the metal you’ve probably read that will be able to withstand “super” speeds (you’ll have read about the planes that can take us somewhere in an hour). Although, she’s said that that’s not true at all, and won’t be the purpose for the metal. But it’s besides the point.
              You’re all high and mighty about the “fucks”, but now you’re slipping them in? Bit hypocritical, mind you.
              I can swear all I want. ‘Fuck’ now means a whole manner of things, and not just ‘sex’.
              To be honest, most of your comment was garbled. I honestly can’t understand half the points you were/are trying to make. They’re senseless. And if you feel that means I’m being a “bigot” towards you, then fine, I really don’t care – but it’s really rather hard to respond to someone when you aren’t terribly sure what they’re saying, or trying to say.

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Fuck means fuck, but can imply a lot of things, and is why Mailer garbled it in his salty old book once upon a time.

                Lenny Bruce knew this. Carlin. Most Aussies I assume?

                I don’t understand you, and Bono, who needs to interlace the fucks in your speech. Why? Too cool for school.

                Super metal, ok. I can dig that. You can swear all you want.
                Bono: Just tell us what the fookin metal is for, for fuck sakes, Missus! Suspended pretensile suspense is riviting us.

                Please. Avast.

                I am just a poor local fool, the Newfie you are looking for, as an example comparable to Trump, is Scott Andrews, Canadian MP. He maybe would praise metric, and curry your favour? Hardly.

                Google him. Forgive my tresspasses?

                I am for discussing metric system flaws. Nothing more, seriously.

                Precieved flaws, because of my way of processing information, that is all. Maybe I am not alone?

                I do hope you reduce your cursing and swearing so that people will respect your ability to argue from reason and logic.

                Why is Clinton, er…. I mean, metric, good for baking, or the USA? Enlighten us. Fuck means fuck.

                Go to any university creative writing workshop and ask. A whole manner of things, or just that? Ask an expert.

                Like

                1. Seriously, you are not making any sense.

                  People take my arguments seriously whether I say fuck or I don’t. If you can’t separate the two, that’s a fault with you, not with me. If you don’t understand why people swear, then that’s fine. No one is saying you have to. But you don’t get to dictate to others what will make their arguments better, or worse. I’m not swearing at you. I’m simply swearing. And I will not, ever, stop swearing because a man tells me I should.

                  Fuck means a lot of different things now. It’s become a colloquial part of speech. Deal with it. It can be used as a verb, adjective, compliment, complaint, insult, and many other things, I imagine. “Fuck this shit”, for example, does not mean one literally wants to fuck shit. It means “I’m done/I can’t be bothered”. That’s just one of many examples of how fuck can be used.

                  I swear because I want to. I swear more when people tell me I shouldn’t. The fact it’s a big fucking deal with you means I’ll deliberately be asinine in my responses in regards to swearing. Why do I feel the need?

                  Because I don’t give a shit. It’s part of my language. It’s part of most people’s language these days. Depending on the country, too. For example, things like ‘ass’ and ‘hell’ and ‘bloody’ aren’t deemed swear words in Australia; yet other countries seem to think differently.

                  Swearing doesn’t make one ‘too cool for school’. I get it; like you said, you’re old. You think swearing means more than it does. Want my advice? Get the fuck over it.

                  I do hope that you actual inject logic and reason into your arguments, so that they actually make sense. Or is that the point? You enjoy making arguments that don’t make sense? Does it make you feel like you’ve achieved something because I’m responding to your nonsense? If that’s the case, then this could get really interesting. I usually make fun of time-wasters; but you’re just so confusing that it feels like I’d be attacking a child. I don’t even know what I’d be attacking you’re so over the place.

                  You want me to discuss the metric system in regards to baking? Really?

                  And somehow you’re still confusing the metric system and Clinton? Like, which one do you want me to respond to? Baking or Clinton?

                  Or, I could just ask one of the university professors I know. That’d be easier, wouldn’t it? Can that include my mum? She guest lectures at universities at times … although, that’s medicine, not creative writing. But still. It does help to know people. It does also help that I completed a creative writing workshop, as well. It also helps that many of the teachers I work with have Master’s. It also helps that my teacher in high school is now an English literature professor.

                  Also, I’m actually a paid and published writer. Do I count as an expert? I’ve had more then twenty articles published. I have an entire portfolio. Can I just ask myself? Or is that too arrogant? When does becoming a published writer reach ‘expert’ level?

                  Liked by 1 person

                2. Tea is a joke. It is literally nothing more. Your obsession with tea is a derailment of the actual problem.

                  The metric system works for the entire world, with the exception of the US. The metric system is better for calculations, and is used world-wide. Your opinion might be that you prefer the imperial system, but that’s probably because you’re used to it. If I had to change to the imperial system, despite my rough working knowledge of it, I probably wouldn’t be happy. But you know what? That makes it your own personal opinion. Your opinion is irrelevant. The rest of the world largely disagrees with you. It’s kind of a mute point, and another attempt at derailment.

                  Yes, I did point out the differences in fuck. Bringing up Trump is also irrelevant, because it requires context. If I was to state, “I fucked him”, one could assume I had sex with a man. If only a portion of the conversation was overheard, it might mean that statement was taken out of context and I might have meant I screwed someone over, as opposed to literally screwing them. However, it would be reasonable to make an assumption that I meant sex. However, if I said, “I fucking hate that fucking loser”, one would assume that I was not referring to sex. The same would apply to Trump – or any other person. If Trump says “Fuck” into a microphone, no one is going to think he wants to have sex with it. They’re going to assume he’s pissed about something, or has bad news. Regardless, asking me to define ‘fuck’ and its multiple meanings is another diversionary tactic. It’s irrelevant and you know it.

                  My mum wouldn’t give a shit. She knows I’m a writer and has read probably all my work, if not most of it. I’ve sworn in it before, and I swear around her, so I doubt she’d give a shit. If I showed her these comments – other than asking, “What the fuck is this guy on?” in regards to you – she’d probably ask me why the fuck I was bothering to show her. She wouldn’t care about the comments. My parents don’t give a shit if I swear. You know why? Because I’m an adult.

                  I also won’t change whether or not I swear because of you. You don’t get to decide for me how I speak. It’s none of your business. Not even my husband would be stupid enough to ask. You know why? Because he respects me. And I respect him. My fucks can be said anywhere I want to say them – within reason. You do not get to control that. Get the fuck over it.

                  You brought up expertise when you suggested I see professors/take a creative writing course. I’m not bragging. You brought it up. I happen to know a few professors; my mum’s been a guest lecturer before – who swears, by the way, but I doubt when she’s done lectures; I’ve taken creative writing classes in uni and I’m a published writer. You asked about expertise, and I’m giving you multiple options. Including my own, which is relevant.

                  Do you know J.K Rowling swears in her work? She’s one of the most famous authors ever, and swearing adds to her work. Sometimes, swearing can be really rather effective. She is also not the only author who does so.

                  Regardless, my swearing isn’t up for discussion. I’m allowed to swear. You need to back the fuck off about it, otherwise my next replies will be filled with as many swear words as I can think of and add.

                  You can think I’m a ‘seasoned bigot’ all you want, and I really don’t give a shit. Everything I’ve ever written is the exact opposite of that, but I really don’t give a shit what one irrelevant entitled prick thinks. Swearing doesn’t make me a bigot. But hey, if that’s the way you want to spin it, go ahead. You’re making me look great, so thanks. I really appreciate it.

                  I don’t know what class has to do with anything. Are you pissed because I’m educated? Because education and class are not correlations. How do you know I didn’t pay for fees? How do you know I’m not in debt as a result? How do you know anything about my financial status? University in Australia is completely different to America. You’re ignorant in assuming a correlation.

                  My success, my education, and the fact that I’m published, does not determine my class factor. It doesn’t mean I’m poor, middle-class or rich. Like your other tactics, this is just another poor deterrent because you can’t handle the truth, you can’t handle being wrong, you can’t handle the fact that you can’t control the way I speak, and you can’t handle dissent.

                  You either need to think of an actual argument – one that doesn’t involve tea, the metric system, class or swearing – or give up.

                  Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t disagree with your point of view. There are a lot of us who are quite alarmed that he is a candidate at all. Most everyone I know is revolted by the prospect of a Donald Trump presidency. It does seem as though you are discounting the rational, thoughtful people who want a better government than the one he offers. The sad truth is, the people who need to hear this message are unlikely to read or understand your words.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree. I’ve already had one person misunderstood to the point of ludicrously – he focused on the tea and was like, ‘Tea and political candidates are separate issues’. I was like … wow, you win an award for missing the point. And not understanding jokes.
      But hopefully it’ll make those, like you (who understand), laugh. That’s the goal, anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha! I thought it was very strange too that many of the people I got to know in the States have no idea what a kettle is lol I had a friend come over and when I was boiling the water in the kettle she stared at it as if it’s an alien!!!! As for the rest, I totally agree. If Trump gets it, America will be doomed 😬

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know!! Isn’t it just the weirdest thing?? My brain is so confused by this!! And I especially love my tea!
      I think if Trump gets in, it’s not just America that’s doomed, unfortunately!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Do you know what’s better than tea? Metric tea! Because 237 ml is a lot more than 8 ounces and bigger is better. Because America! 🙂

    I am suffering from overexposure to Trump. Take that any way you want. This is when I burst into song: Hold me closer, Tiny Hander!

    Here’s a thought I’ve been pondering lately: Being accused of something doesn’t mean a person was guilty and being found not guilty in a court of law doesn’t mean a person was innocent. Justice is one of the most inconsistent things humans have ever come up with. It’s basically more random than white noise, and don’t get me started on that!

    Don’t worry. It will all be over soon. It’s less than a month until election day. This election was officially over the moment Trump became the Republican nominee. The media adores Trump because he sells copy. Trump sells copy for the same reason humans rubberneck at grisly automobile accidents. Humans rubberneck because they are less evolved than the amoeba.

    The only thing I wonder about now is if Trump will fade away after the election. God, I hope so.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ha ha ha ha your comment made me laugh out loud! Seriously! Partly because it was just funny, and partly because I’m currently having an argument with a guy who thinks the metric system is terrible and that I have “fancy Australian grammar interlaced with Sailor talk” (because I swear a lot) so reading your comment straight after his just made me die of laughter! THANK YOU!

      I agree completely!! I actually wrote a post about that a while back! That we need to stop thinking that guilty people can’t go free and innocent people can’t go to jail. I can’t remember what it was titled (it’s on my blog, not the NWR) but I could look it up for you. It was in regards to rape cases, in particular.

      No, feel free to get started as much as you wanted! I love listening (/reading) a good rant!

      I’m seriously hoping the election makes Trump go away. Sadly … I doubt it. I can’t even believe this is a thing. It’s literally shocking.

      Liked by 2 people

        1. Seriously!? Was there a particular reason, or do you mean it as a joke?
          I read once that swearing in people makes others perceive them as more honest. I’m not sure it’s true (Australians swear a lot, and a lot of words that other countries deem swear words we actually don’t) but I always find myself suspicious around people that don’t swear. In person, not online (I can understand online), but in person … I just kind of wonder sometimes!

          Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m Trumped out. He’s a disgusting excuse of a human being and I can’t even get up any desire to write a sarcastic comment or three. You did good. 🙂

    I leave you wth something I read on Twitter that seems on point:

    David Cho ‏@davidcho Oct 10
    LOL at the idea that we can’t have one of the guys from that tape host the Today show, but the other guy is totally cool to run our country.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ha ha ha ha I did hear that they fired that Bush guy! That is terrible, when you really think about it. I mean, it’s also Fox, isn’t it, that he was on? Or is Today run by a different network?
      Thank you so much!! I’m really glad you liked it!!!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I like that your post unintentionally listed stuff in order of my particular fondness. I love tea, I’m not fond of the metric system (mostly because I don’t understand it), & I may hate Drumpf (see John Oliver if you don’t understand that reference). I don’t like using the word “hate” normally because I feel it gives too much energy & attention to someone/something I dislike – but I think it’s getting to that point.

    Also, I didn’t know you wrote for this page!! I didn’t know this page existed for that matter. So, in a way, you introduced me to something I might love…. I went through many emotions reading this post. Wonderful work. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Ariel!!! Ha ha ha I love tea, and I love the metric system. I don’t understand your system at all. Our’s is so simple and not complicated. It says what it means. Like 0 means 0. It’s really very helpful!
      And I love John Oliver … I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen the Drumpf video!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. See, I don’t understand the metric system either, but that’s because I wasn’t raised with it & taught it from a very young age. I think that’s part of the problem that America ran into when they were trying to get our butts on the same page as the rest of the world (I think it was Eisenhower who tried to convert the U.S. to the metric system? I’m not sure if it was him, specifically, but there was a president who gave it a shot) – adults here were already “set in their ways” & they resisted the change over.

        0 means 0 here too!! Except 0 doesn’t mean “freezing point,” which, I’m totally assuming, you mean when you say in Australia that 0 means 0. It’s way below freezing here. But it’s still zero, silly. 😉

        I love John Oliver so very, very much. B shared your post, we briefly discussed our opinions on tea, & I shared a link to that segment. She hadn’t seen it! After that episode aired, I took to calling him “Drumpf” (&, on the liberal FB page I help admin, #rapeyDonald after the allegations from the woman he “allegedly” raped when she was 12 surfaced). It’s like calling ISIS/ISIL DAESH – subtle, but obvious, disrespect & disdain.

        Oh my… I see you’re in an incomprehensible argument here. I give you so much credit for how you’re handling what appears to be someone stringing a bunch of words together, in no particular order, & calling it a comment on/rebuttal to your post. Despite cursing like a f***ing sailor, or maybe because of it, I still think you’re the sweetest, most patient, most dedicated Internet person I know.

        As I’m sure you know, it’s a common derailment technique to say that people’s anger at oppression/dismissal/mansplaining/microagressions/other social issues “makes people take them less seriously.” It really sounds like the comment’s author – if you can call him/her that – was trying to pull that s*** on you & I loved that you shut him down like you did!!!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you so much!!!!! I’m so devastated, I actually accidentally deleted his last comment and I’m trying to undo it but I don’t know how! Even more annoying, I had written this lengthy comeback (because he’s still at it) and I’m so devastated! ARGH! Trying to find it now!! But I’m so glad you like it! And yes, he’s the biggest fool. The stupid thing is, the more someone makes swearing an issue, the more I use it. No one gets to tell me how I speak.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Oh dear… I’m really hesitant to say anything, since you were so upset… but I see, by reading the comment thread, where the comment is missing. I mean to say, it’s still missing when I look at the page. I’m sorry!!! 😥

            Liked by 1 person

        2. I worked out the commenting issue!!! It’s solved now!

          I can definitely understand the lack of wanting the change, but sometimes change needs to happen! And the metric system is less confusing, it really is.

          And you’re right – 0 in Celsius is freezing point, and then we move into the negatives. I think that makes so much more sense, and I have no idea why anyone would defend it past not wanting to change it because it’s something they’re used to.

          John Oliver is the BEST! I love him!! Although I also loved Alec Baldwin’s SNL segment on Trump!

          Thank you! I agree. I can’t tell whether he’s literally just not very intelligent, or he’s just bad at arguing. Or both. Thank you!! Unfortunately, I’d feel better if it was an actual challenge shutting him down. It just feels way too easy. But, I guess the important thing is, I LOOK AWESOME! And thank you 🙂 That’s so sweet of you! It really means a lot to me x

          Liked by 1 person

          1. C’mon now, you know how stubborn we silly Americans are!! LOL

            I agree – I think it would be smart to have a consistent measuring system across the world. I’m sure there are plenty of arguments for changing America over to the metric system. However, no one is going to listen. Or, at least, the average American isn’t going to listen &, looking at how some of us have been behaving recently, they’ll probably start protesting. I mean, updating all those signs on the highways alone will be such a pain, so why bother? LOL

            I love John Oliver too!!! Plus, whatever he says sounds super smart with his British accent (it also makes him much more attractive for reasons I don’t quite understand lol)! I’m going to have to start watching Last Week Tonight when it airs live instead of DVRing it, I think, because on Mondays everyone seems to be talking & posting about it. LOL

            I saw Alec Baldwin’s SNL Trump impression (& I love the woman who plays Hillary, although I’m awful with names & can’t remember it; she was so great in Ghostbusters, I can’t even…)! I love it because, not only was it really really funny, but it also pissed Trump off. BONUS! LOL

            You always look awesome when you’re putting misguided people in their place. But, in this case, anyone can see that you’re (trying) to make sense of someone who doesn’t seem to understand they’re in a dispute.

            I read an insult today that is pretty much tailored to this situation: I could eat alphabet soup & s*** out a better argument than him. LOL

            Liked by 1 person

            1. I agree. It would be a massive change, and it’d be incredibly costly. I could certainly understand why America – especially given its size – wouldn’t want to change over.

              I know!! British accents are amazing!! I love them. And I love John Oliver! He’s hilarious and he’s so incredibly smart. I can understand why Republicans hate him so much.

              I KNOW!!! I love how thin-skinned Trump is! I love how he feels free to insult, mock and joke about everyone – often offensively – but can’t handle it when it’s done to him! It’s insane! And it’s a perfect representation of his extreme narcissism!

              Ha ha ha I don’t even doubt it! That is a great joke (toward Trump)!

              Liked by 1 person

              1. Americans are also ridiculously stubborn, especially when we think that the suggestion/change sounds like we’re being told we’re “wrong.” America is the best. We don’t accept anything that insinuates otherwise. LOL

                & so cute!! That doesn’t hurt. LOL I know John Oliver is smart, but he also has a fantastic staff (who do a lot of the research) & a fantastic job working with HBO (who allows him to get away with a lot of stuff, like buying up “dead debt” & keeping it dead for good). I wasn’t aware that Republicans hated him, in particular, though.

                Personally, I don’t love how thin-skinned Drumpf is, even though it opens him up to (well-deserved) ridicule & mockery for (additional examples of) his hypocrisy. I don’t think I can name anything about him I would say I “love” about him. I find him that awful.

                Haha! I didn’t even think about that insult in terms of Drumpf!! I was thinking about it in terms of the person with whom you were arguing (although I would hardly categorize it as an argument; it was more confusion on your part & random noises on his) in the comments here. Still, it fits perfectly!

                Liked by 1 person

                1. America really is like that. Unfortunately, Australia is developing the same sort of mindset. And, as a history teacher, I KNOW how damaging that mindset is. It caused the first World War, and then it caused the second. Obviously there were other things involved, but realistically, the first World War happened because each country thought that they were somehow better than all the other countries, and wanted to show off how much better they were.
                  And we all saw how that turned out.
                  I think HBO is fantastic. I love it as a station. I love how they let their writers do pretty much anything – I feel it brings a lot more realism to the story.
                  Ugh, pretty much!! I have no idea what his point was, or what he wanted to achieve. I know he didn’t achieve it, which is a win.
                  Drumpf really has the thinnest skin. And I really don’t think you should hurl insults if you can’t take them. Really. I think, no matter how ‘true’ the mean thing is you’re about to say, if you couldn’t handle someone saying something equally as mean to you, then you shouldn’t say it. You shouldn’t start a fight you can’t handle. It’s not even about winning … but you can’t insult everyone and then be upset when the same is done to you. It’s just pathetic. Drumpf is pathetic.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. Yeah, we’ve talked about how Australia likes to mirror the worst tendencies of America, so it doesn’t surprise me that they’re following our stubbornness & “We’re number one!!!” attitude.

                    National pride is a wonderful thing. However, over doing it like some Americans do & using that attitude to look down on other countries & its citizens isn’t. Looking down on other countries’ politicians is fair game, though. LOL

                    I’ve been saying this for months, & others have started making very similar comments lately: If Drumpf is elected & he gets the nuclear launch codes, he’ll bomb someone for a perceived insult on his shoes – what do we think he’ll do for an actual dispute?!

                    His candidacy is, to paraphrase what J.K. Rowling Tweeted, an international concern, because he could blow up the entire world. His short temper, his tendency to overreact, & his apparent hatred of anyone who isn’t like him (rich, white, cisgender, heterosexual, male, able-bodied, etc.) make him completely wrong for the POTUS. 😦

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. I agree. I have no idea why so many Americans like him (and Australians!). It genuinely concerns me. I feel like if Trump is elected, it’ll be the beginning of “Idiocracy”. Have you ever seen that movie? I think it’s brilliant. Apparently, the American audience didn’t agree, but I felt like it really hit home.
                      But yes, we can’t have anyone like Drumpf within sniffing distance of the nuclear launch codes 😉

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. A lot of people have racist, sexist, xenophobic, & a**hole thoughts/tendencies/biases, & I think that’s why he resonates with so many people. I’m not sure why he resonates with Australians, but I assume it’s the same reason.

                      If someone can say the stuff he has said while running for President, they feel like it’s OK if they think/say them too.

                      I haven’t seen “Idiocracy” yet, but it’s on my (admittedly 200+) Netflix queue. I’m not surprised that American audiences didn’t like it – they don’t like the implication that they’re doing something wrong. They really don’t like the implication that most of them are stupid, encouraging anti-intellectualism (which they call “liberalism” & it’s eeeeevil), or that they’re gonna have stupid descendants.

                      I agree – Drumpf being elected POTUS would be an indication of society’s downfall. I also think that he’ll be our last POTUS, because he’s already made monarchical overtures.

                      He doesn’t want to run America, he wants to rule it. Anyone who disagrees with him is to be silenced. “Fired,” like he used to say on his ridiculous TV show (I never watched it, but I know the stupid catchphrase).

                      I also think he doesn’t have a hint of a wisp of a clue of what the POTUS’s job is. He thinks what he says, goes. He thinks that he can be a figurehead & let Pence (a horrific, pro-life, anti-LGBT, anti-science politician with a track-record of enacting laws that hurt people) do all the work – domestic & foreign.

                      He doesn’t understand what’s feasible. Like, you can’t force a foreign sovereign nation to pay for a giant wall that will inevitably jack up the cost of produce & other goods.

                      In short, he’s entirely unqualified, unprepared, & lacking in morality & humanity for dog catcher let alone POTUS. & the fact that the American public saw him as an equal – or even better – candidate than Hillary Clinton, or that he might actually win, is terrifying.

                      I joke about moving to Canada if he wins, but the truth is, Canada won’t be far enough away from the havoc he would inflict. I don’t think the moon would be far enough away. 😦

                      Liked by 1 person

                    3. Yeah, I think it’s why. There’s this growing trend of Nationalism in Australia, and there’s a very strong idea of ‘keeping Australia white’. I mean, we’ve always had that mentality, I guess, since we had the White Australia Policy, but it’s gotten worse since Trump. And now that Pauline Hanson’s been elected into the Senate (she’s a mini Trump, and terrible in every way) it’s escalated. In the 80’s she wanted everyone to be afraid of Asians. Now it’s Muslims.

                      To be honest, I think a lot of men like Trump because he’s everything they wish they could be. With Hanson, I don’t think she has the same respect … but it is growing. And it’s mainly growing because of the misinformed, which I find so disturbing. What bugs me isn’t the misinformation (so much) it’s the refusal of the misinformed to listen to any of the real information. You actually said there was a word for that, actually, in an email … I just can’t quite remember it.

                      You’ll actually love Idiocracy. You should bump it up your queue – if you love John Oliver, it’s the type of thing you’ll love. It’s got that harsh sense of humour … and it’s just fantastic satire.

                      Exactly. Trump won’t be President. He’ll become a dictator, which is what he wants. It’s no different to Hitler’s rise – he started off as High Chancellor and somehow all his opponents were murdered and then somehow after that he became the Fuhrer. It was very shocking and totally unexpected. (End sarcasm.)

                      Exactly. I don’t think he gets that he can’t force Mexico to pay for the wall. And the cost of the wall isn’t even the biggest problem … the maintenance would be. I mean, America can’t afford to keep the infrastructure of bridges up to date – which is really scary, when so many are years overdue – and Trump wants to put in a wall!? At least with bridges there’s usually a toll, so people are usually putting money towards the bridge (not always, but you know what I mean). You can’t toll a wall. The wall will be so goddamn expensive to maintain … he has no goddamn idea.

                      Also, it would give me a great piece of mind if America would focus on giving more money to your bridge maintenance. That seems to be a really important thing that you guys aren’t doing as often as it should be. I mean, I know Australia’s behind too, but still.

                      Ha ha ha I don’t think so. New Zealand is usually out of missile firing range for most countries, so that could be far enough. Although, it does depend on the country that’s launching, and that was a while ago …

                      Liked by 1 person

                    4. Everyone has to have a boogeyman. In America, it started with Native Americans & it never stopped. We held the same position as your Ms. Hanson in WWII. When that wasn’t effective anymore, we moved on to the Russians. Now it’s Muslims.

                      I’m sure I’ve missed a bunch in that quick synopsis.

                      Most men want to be racist con-men going through a succession of different women, cheating on all of them, & paying G-d knows how much in alimony & child support? I know that’s not the image he has, but it’s accurate.

                      I’m pretty sure the words you’re looking for are “cognitive dissonance.” I use them a lot. I’m guessing you know the definition & just couldn’t find the words? Anyway, it’s exactly what you described. People refuse to hear info that contradicts their beliefs.

                      I’ll bump it up a little. But I’ve got a ton of good stuff on there. Would you have me lower Cosmos with Carl Sagan?

                      I hadn’t considered maintenance in my dislike for his wall policy. I’m more concerned with the land it needs to go through. Even though most of it goes through empty land, hundreds of miles go through people’s property. The government may offer them peanuts – or nothing – & claim “eminent domain” for rancher’s livelihood.

                      Well, they could put a toll on the wall. However, far fewer people travel in & out of Mexico, I think, than do on some of our bridges. The same bridges in desperate need of repair.

                      In fact, I’ve heard it said that the Pulaski Skyway (a bridge I’ve taken a few times) was only intended to last for 50 years. That was way earlier than 50 years ago. This – & the fact that even people in Australia know about our crumbling bridges – only makes my bridge anxiety worse.

                      There’s a lot of stuff we need to spend our money on that we aren’t. The trillions we spend in policing the rest of the world alone could make sure no one was ever homeless. Not ever again.

                      Yeah, America might have trouble hitting Australia. I’ll put that on my possible emigration locale list. LOL

                      Liked by 1 person

                    5. I’m so sorry I made your bridge anxiety worse! I should stop watching stupid news programs!

                      I think America could hit Australia, I just don’t know why they would want to (at the moment!). Plus, we’re pretty far away that, I think, terrorists tend to forget about us. Plus, it’s a lot of hassle, you know? Australia’s not close to anywhere! The bright side about this, I feel, is that if there were a zombie apocalypse, we’d survive. The disease wouldn’t be able to reach here, because it takes days to fly from Europe or the States. The zombie things would each other and crash the plane. Yay us!

                      Yes, that wasn’t relevant. But it’s a fact I’m proud of.

                      We have boogeymen, too, and it’s getting worse – this desire to blame “them”. To have a “them” and an “us”. It’s like before. I feel like I’m watching – literally – history repeat itself. I feel like screaming, ‘Didn’t you pay any attention? Don’t you realise this is what happened last time?’

                      I agree. Australia spends billions keeping refugees illegally in detention centres. It would literally cost us less to bring them ashore, treat them like normal human beings, process them, and then let them into Australia. But no, we’d rather pay billions in detention, torture, and covering up rapes of twelve year olds.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    6. I think everyone needs to take a break from news programming every once in a while. It’s good for mental health. I mean, the news is so freakin’ depressing. I tell my hetero-lifemate (it’s a Jay & Silent Bob reference we use lol) that she needs to limit her news watching to 1 hour a day, max. She has really bad anxiety & I think it’s too much for her. 😦

                      But, I don’t want you to feel too bad. There was no way you’d make my bridge anxiety better, & making it worse is pretty easy. It’s like I can’t control my brain. It goes to images of the bridge collapsing under my car & I can’t distract it. 😦

                      Weeeelllll… with the Australian government’s mirroring of American policies, & its treatment of refugees, you might not be immune. I think our mistreatment of Muslims & people of Middle Eastern heritage really boosts the terrorists’ ability to recruit. I don’t want to make your anxiety levels worse; it’s just how I feel. Especially given America’s crappy treatment of Middle Eastern people. 😦

                      Also, if Drumpf wins the election, he might bomb Australia. Just because he’s a t**t. Or an Australian government official might say something insulting.

                      Did you hear about his plan for his first 100 days in office? He actually revealed a plan of what he’ll do as POTUS!!

                      Unfortunately, his plan was to sue all the women who have accused him of groping/kissing them without consent. & they wonder #WhyWomenDontReport. 😥

                      Also, Australia isn’t alone in its mistreatment of 12-year-old rape victims. 😥 Yet another reason #WhyWomenDontReport – Brock Turner wasn’t an isolated incident. http://distractify.com/trending/2016/10/21/impeached-scumbag-judge

                      Liked by 1 person

                    7. Yeah, sometimes I need to get my news in a funny way. Like a John Oliver way. In a, I can’t deal with anything serious way. Well, he covers serious topics, but they’re funny.
                      Yeah, we really do. It’s insane how obsessed we are with copying America! And I don’t know why!
                      Yeah, that’s very true. I’m hoping he doesn’t know where Australia is. Which wouldn’t actually surprise me if he didn’t. Sorry to the country he accidentally bombs, though.
                      No!!! What are his plans?? I can’t believe he has plans! I bet he doesn’t have plans, his advisers made plans because he’s screwing up so badly and they needed to silence the questions, ‘BUT WHAT DO YOU PLAN ON DOING?’
                      Oh, no, I should have read the comment in full. Yeah, I did hear that. He also wants to put Hillary in jail (for crimes she’s been cleared of), so … Heil Drumpf.

                      Liked by 1 person

                    8. I’m the same way. I read so many articles for my day posting on the liberal FB page that I get so depressed. John Oliver & Stephen Colbert really take the edge off of topics they discuss.

                      The Opiate section this past week really hit close to home for me.

                      HAH! I was going to say that he’d probably bomb another country by mistake. I’m guessing Austria is in for a big surprise. Not that I think he knows where that is (although he might have been there before… they have skiing or other rich people stuff there), but he doesn’t really need to know. He gives the order, someone else puts in coordinates. Still, seeing how much trouble he has with facts & accuracy, he’ll screw that up too.

                      I thought you were winding me up there for a minute!! I didn’t realize you hadn’t read the whole comment yet. I thought it was hilarious… at first.

                      Then, remembering his first 100 days will be spent prosecuting innocent women, I got sad again. 😦

                      Liked by 1 person

                    9. Ha ha ha oh no, poor Austria! 😉 That joke literally made me laugh out loud! I love it!
                      He probably would! He won’t know where most places are. He’ll definitely say the wrong place.
                      Yeah, no I try and reply as I go, because your comments are so long, I’m scared I’ll forget stuff (I do that, sometimes. If I’m tired, my memory goes all foggy and it’s hard to concentrate). I try and do it this way, to make sure I don’t miss anything!
                      Yeah. And putting Hillary in jail. And making sure he’s a dictator.
                      And, of course, reminding us all why #WomenDon’tReport

                      Liked by 1 person

                    10. I totally get that. I tend to read the whole comment in my gmail, then I keep the comment open in my gmail & open a new link to reply. That way, I can go back & forth while I’m replying. But, that’s just the system that works for me. Everyone does what’s best for them.

                      Yeah. It’s a really scary thought that he still has a decent chance of winning. I’m terrified. & I think the rest of the world is – rightfully so – too. 😦

                      Liked by 1 person

                    11. I used to, but I found that (since I’ve been more tired lately) lately I’ve been missing things. So I changed my methods. I’ll probably go back once I get back on track, but at the moment, it’s so hard to concentrate! And everything is more foggy than usual!
                      Yeah, I was at the dr’s on Tuesday and the ladies there were terrified about him getting into power!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    12. What you described sounds like how I feel most days. I wish I could say it gets better. All I can say is what you’ve probably heard a million times already: take it slow, see what works, see what doesn’t work, don’t push yourself.

                      My pain psychologist said: there’s a point of no return for people like us. We have to be aware of where it is. It’s a lot of trial & error, but, eventually, we can see that point & avoid it.

                      Unfortunately, pain psychologists are few & far between. When mine involuntarily retired, I couldn’t find one within 25 miles. It’s disappointing. I only had a few visits with him. I felt there was a lot more he could have taught me if we had the chance. 😦

                      Liked by 1 person

                    13. I’ve never even heard of a pain psychologist! But my psychologist is brilliant, I love her! She’s all about reminding me I shouldn’t go back to full-time work because it’s not worth it and making sure I have “self-compassion” and everything like that. She’s awesome. I really like her.
                      I’m sorry your pain psychologist retired 😦 But I’m glad you got to meet with him a few times, at the very least! I’m sure even a short time would have been helpful!

                      Liked by 1 person

                    14. I didn’t know about them before either! I can’t remember who recommended I see one either. There really ought to be more of them!

                      Your psychologist sounds wonderful. It’s so rare (around here, at least) to get a mental health professional who understands chronic illnesses. Unless they have one themselves, that is.

                      That was the problem I had – both of my psychologists who really “got it” had chronic problems themselves. That’s why they had to involuntarily retire – their conditions got too bad & they couldn’t keep working. 😦

                      Still, you’re right. At least I got to see my pain psychologists a couple of times. I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t have been so lucky.

                      Like

  7. I’m gonna say it – Metric system = easy. So much easier for me to work out an area that requires wall tiles when I use centimetres rather than inches. A lot easier to work out a lot of things if you ask me. I mean, who measures things in FEET anyway? And whose feet? Bobo the Clown and his huge feet? A baby’s feet? And do these people get their feet back afterward?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha I think so!! I hope no one is that stupid. But, then again, Trump supporters 😉
      Thank you!!! I’m glad you enjoyed both!

      Like

  8. LOL great piece. I know I am late to the party on this one – but the words are still poignant post-election. I am ashamed to be an American. I despise all of that bullshit flag waving and nauseating patriotism. America uses Fahrenheit for no logical reason – its just to spite everyone else and to send a message that we are “different”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ha ha ha that’s ok!! I’m glad you liked it!!! Yeah you guys are really obsessed with the flag in kind of a bad way. I don’t get why everyone went crazy at the Big Bang chick because her dogs were sitting on a towel flag or something. I just that it was insane!

      Liked by 2 people

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