Hello everyone – have I got news for you!

(Have I? Half the time I’m don’t know whether I’m coming or going and that’s on a good day if I can find my emergency pack of biscuits).

So, what have we got on the table for you to sink your teeth into today? Well, since I got such a positive response from my previous report that took swipes at the news through the medium of haikus, I’ve been jonesing to try out some more.

And since we have Halloween around the corner, I thought it would be fun to focus on spooky news stories for this report. Plus, you also get:-

Two times the action/danger/pulse-pounding excitement/pumpkins spiced product placement!

Many times the mystery and suspense! (Especially if you watch this with the lights off or better yet while you are having a powercut then the suspense will be unbearable)

And heads are going to explode!

(Actually, I sincerely hope they don’t because I can always do with the repeat business, along with not having to shampoo out the carpet).

Here we go then people, this is what you came here for and this is what I am going to deliver!



Creepy clown sightings

All over America

My mistake. It’s Trump


(Original news story:- 9news – Creepy clown sightings spook America)


AI gains power

Machines making human slaves

Murdered by toasters


(Original news story:- Live Science – The Spooky Secret Behind Artificial Intelligence’s Incredible Power)


Want to see some ghosts?

Thermographic cameras

Or just buy some pets


(Original news story:- Red Herring – Discover your own poltergeist)


Poetic Poe Fans

Raving about these beauties

Cold feet? Nevermore


(Original news story:- GeekDad – Sock It To Me’s Spooky New Styles)


Dr Who is real!

Egyptians changing light bulbs?

Nah. Pyramid scheme


(Original news story:- Daily Express – Rare hieroglyphs showing ‘Egyptians with electrical light bulbs are proof of time travel’)


Condoms into space

For alien invasions

Pack loads, tentacles


(Original news story:- Daily Express – Kinky Swedes prepare for alien romp: Campaign calls for NASA to send condoms into space)


What’s scary about

Underwater museums?

Lots if you can’t swim


(Original news story:- The Weather Channel – Lanzarote’s spooky underwater museum)


Huge moths with skull marks

Swarming into Britain soon

Cripes, I’m done! Taxi!


(Original news story:- Daily Express – Giant MOTHS with spooky SKULL-shaped markings swarming into Britain)


Happy Halloween folks! Enjoy the month of October, stay safe and eat lots of candy 🙂