Posted in Attitudes, Blogdramedy, Humor

Is it me or is summer…oops, too late, it’s gone

Hear that sound? That’s the sound of summer passing. With the ringing of the school bell, parents everywhere are muttering, “I know I shouldn’t wish my life away but it’s time. I NEED MY LIFE BACK!”

Even if you don’t hold down a full-time paid position of some kind of soul (sucking or fulfilling, you choose) job, summer is intense. It’s not that parents don’t enjoy spending every freaking waking moment of summer vacation with their kids. For the first few weeks it’s a wonderful feeling to have your child’s undivided attention.

Then they turn into that thing you hate most. The bored child. They eye-ball your every move.

Parent: Why are you standing there staring at me?

Child: I’m bored. There’s nothing to do.  Summer sucks!

Parent: What about that new water slide?

Child: It’s busted.

Parent: How about going bike riding?

Child: It’s busted.

Parent: Well, how about watching a DVD? Don’t tell me…it’s busted.

Child: No, but Mom’s watching “The Bridges of Madison County” again and crying.

Parent: Why don’t you ask your sister to take you to the park?

Child: She’s in her room with her boyfriend trying on her new thong bikini.

Parent: You win. Get your sister. We’re going to the mall.

the-bridges-of-madison-county
I don’t need much but I need them to NOT MISS THE FUCKING SCHOOL BUS!

At some point every summer, a parent fondly remembers what it’s like to enjoy that first cup of coffee in the morning, kid-free. That’s when the countdown begins and doesn’t stop until the bell rings on the first day of school.

Here are eight ways to celebrate the end of summer-break boredom, and the return of your car keys.

1. Enjoy a second, third, or fourth, beer without a lecture from your eight-year-old on why Bobby’s Dad is back in rehab.

2. Get a good night’s sleep because for the first time in two months, the kids are in bed before you.

3. Finally find out what happens in Chapter Two of any book you picked up the previous school year.

4. Discover a new strain of mold now that you can gain access to the forbidden zone: your child’s bedroom.

5. Hit the grocery store and be back home in under an hour in the same mood you left the house in.

6. Take guilty pleasure in having your secretary say, “He’s in a meeting” when your child calls you at work for the third time to ask why Mom says he can’t take peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. He didn’t swell up all that much the last time he had PB&J.

7. Belt out the lyrics to your teen’s CD while driving the car without major eye-roll action from the backseat.

8. Discover there’s still ice cream in the freezer, and a clean spoon.

How do you celebrate back to school?

Advertisements

Author:

Blogdramedy is a recovering communications specialist who now spends her days helping non-profits communicate effectively. They rarely listen to her advice. When she's not doing that, she writes Upside of Sideways and is a field reporter for The Nudge Wink Report -- both on WordPress. https://upsidesideways.wordpress.com https://nudgewinkreport.wordpress.com

8 thoughts on “Is it me or is summer…oops, too late, it’s gone

  1. I work in a school and I’m an empty-nester – so what little change occurs on the home front is more than offset by having to go back to work after a couple of weeks off. Mostly I’m just glad the cooler temps will make beer brewing a little easier.

    Like

      1. Amateurs like myself don’t have access to high tech cooling equipment. Trying to get five gallons of boiling wort down to 70 degrees using 80 degree hose water is a recipe for failure. My new strategy will be to brew enough in the fall winter and spring to sustain my thirst all summer.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Ha,ha,ha! You nailed it all! I’ve written about me running around the house naked since my nest became empty and it’s a blast! My girl is leaving in two days for England for a year (YIKES) 😦 and my son is moving back home. Guess I’ll hold off on the naked thing for now. xo

    Liked by 1 person

Nudge us with a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s