****))))SPECIAL REPORT((((****

So special, it took 10 minutes of research today instead of the usual 5.

Size matters!

This is a picture of me walking the son.  I wore size 10 in 1978.

July 1978 size 10.jpg

This is a picture of me in Morocco with my daughter.  I was wearing a size 6 in 2004. 

Half blind author and daughter.jpg

Do I look any bigger in the first picture than in the second?

The answer is a resounding NO!!! (Except for the breasts.  Nursing makes your breasts bigger)

Anyway, I was 36-26-35 when the first picture was taken and 34 ½-25-35 in the second picture. 

In case you’re wondering, I just measured myself.  I’m 35-30-35 1/2.  That’s because I ate a sandwich on Dave’s Seed Bread (it’s to die for!) and it caused my waist to expand 4 inches.  It’s called Gastroparesis, and…!NO!…I don’t care if it feels like I have a piece of iron the size of a watermelon in my stomach.  Some things in life are worth a little pain.

But not THIS much pain:

corset.jpeg

I do have my limits, too.

My, BAID (My, but alas I digress)

If you think you’re controlling your weight stupendously because you used to be size 14 and now you’re size 10, THINK AGAIN.  It’s nothing but a slight of hand sandwich with a side order of delusion-fries.

You still don’t believe me?  

YEAR                     SIZE

In 1931               size 16  This is what I would’ve been wearing had I been alive.

In 1971               size 12

NOTE:  That’s the size I was wearing before I had my first child, ballooned to 186 in 1976 (the “huge flowers with a choice of 3 stretch pants in a warehouse store” size), and dropped to a size 10 by 1978.

In 2001                 Size 8   

In 2011                  Size 6   

2016                       a very snug Size 6  

…and if you STILL don’t believe me, look at the size charts  (From Wikipedia US STANDARD SIZE CLOTHING.   I just gave my $5 to these people for the year, so this information better be accurate.

Pattern sizes – DuBarry / Woolworth (1931-1955)[1]
5’3″–5’6″ tall, average: bust (3″ < hips), waist (9″ < hips)
Dimension/size 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 18 20 40
Bust 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 36 38 40
Waist 23 23.5 24 25 26 27 28 30 32 34
Hip 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 39 41 43

 

Misses’ sizes (PS 42-70)[2] (1971)
5’2½”–5’6½” tall, average bust, average back
Dimension/size 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20 22
Bust 31½ 32½ 33½ 35 36½ 38 40 42 44
Waist 22½ 23½ 24½ 26 27½ 29 31 33 35
Hip 33½ 34½ 35½ 37 38½ 40 42 44 46
Back-waist length 14½ 15 15¼ 15½ 15¾ 16 16¼ 16½ 16¾

 

Misses’ sizes (ASTM D5585 95(R2001)) (1995, revised 2001)
5’3½” – 5’8″ tall
Dimension/size 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20
Bust 32 33 34 35 36 37½ 39 40½ 42½ 44½
Waist 24 25 26 27 28 29½ 31 32½ 34½ 36½
Hip 34½ 35½ 36½ 37½ 38½ 40 41½ 43 45 47

 

Misses’ sizes (ASTM D5585 11e1)[3] (2011)
5’5½” tall
Dimension/size 00 0 2 4 6 8 10 12 14 16 18 20
Bust 31⅛ 31¾ 33 34⅛ 35¼ 36¼ 37¼ 38¾ 40⅜ 42⅛ 44 46
Waist (Straight) 25⅜ 26⅛ 26⅞ 27⅝ 28½ 29½ 30½ 32¼ 34 36 38¼ 40½
Waist (Curvy) 23⅞ 24⅝ 25⅜ 26⅛ 27 28 29 30¾ 32½ 34½ 36¾ 39
Hip (Straight) 33¼ 33⅞ 35⅛ 36⅜ 37½ 38½ 39½ 41 42½ 44¼ 46 48
Hip (Curvy) 34 34⅝ 35⅞ 37⅛ 38¼ 39¼ 40¼ 41¾ 43¼ 45 46¾ 48¾

I’m not going to go into Junior and Women’s sizes.  The men are, no doubt, already bored since there’s nothing in this post about beer.

This is what a size 16 woman looked like in 1931

1930 woman.gif

Didn’t these people eat?

 

This was considered the ideal woman in the 1970’s

lois lane.jpg

Fansshare.com

In comparison, this is considered the ideal woman today:

from sports illustrated.jpg

businessinsider.com

 

In another 20 years the ideal size 6 woman will be the epitome of indecent explosure:

telegraph.com.uk

What are stick-figure people like me supposed to do after we work our husbands to death and start looking for #6 when we’re 84 years old? I won’t be able to compete with the latest size 6 fashion models!

I’m doomed, I tell you…. DOOMED!!!!

Are you seeing red, too?