Hello everyone.
Who would like something different for a Saturday evening?
(No! Not that! I’m not climbing into a cake for you no matter how much you are willing to pay me. And I really like cake but there are some things a man just won’t do to pay the bills.)
Where the hell was I? Oh yes, on with the show!
May I present to you all, a Weekly News Round Up & Commentary made up entirely of haikus!
(If you don’t know what haikus are then I suggest you hurry up and find out before all our teas and coffees get cold – hurry up, chop chop! Here’s a handy guide for you:-
I thought it was about time to combine my love of poetry with the news, so here we go!
If you enjoy these or would like to see me write news stories in other poetic forms/styles (or would just like to suggest something completely bananas) then why not let us know in the comments below.
World’s highest/longest
Glass bridge opens in China
Pack spare underwear
(Original story :- BBC News – Glass bridge: China opens world’s highest and longest)
Tougher rules in place
For tax avoidance advice
Stuff cash in mattress
(Original story – BBC Business News – Tax avoidance: Accountants face tougher penalties)
Nanotyrannus
Fossils misinterpreted
Steven Spielbeard lied
(Original story – BBC Earth – Meet Nanotyrannus, the dinosaur that never really existed)
A study suggests
Golfers have oddly shaped hips
Really? New balls please
(Original story – BBC Health – Golfers have unusual hips, study suggests)
Want eternal youth?
Lentils and celibacy
No nookie? Beer me
(Original story – BBC World News Asia – Secret of eternal youth? Lentils, yoga and celibacy)
Uber drivers ask
Where they fit in self drive cars
The boot or back seat?
(Original story – The Guardian Technology News – ‘We’re just rentals’: Uber drivers ask where they fit in a self-driving future)
Tip: How to take your
Teenagers on holiday
Bound/gagged – see, easy
(Original story – The Guardian Family News – How to take your teenagers on holiday)
Thank you for reading
Hope you enjoyed all of them
Until next time friends 🙂
nudge. wink. report. 
[…] Haiku News! A Round Up Of The Weekly News & Commentary in Haikus […]
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I can’t write haikus
You write them very well
What time is it?
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Nice attempt DiAnne
But you’re one short on this line
And also this one
There are tricks to it
Combining you are and you’re
Plus finger counting
Once I find rhythm
The flow just keeps on coming
And I go with it 😉
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I know ….that was to show you I don’t know how! Lol!
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Clearly I don’t either as I had to tweak my comment 😉 I feel like I’m back at school counting syllables. It is hard work to say the least but fun when I get it to work 🙂
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Of course you can
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This is just right for me!
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I’m glad you liked it
Mr Tookles, a pleasure
You’re a work of art 🙂
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Omg!!! Haiku news rocks!!! Insert ongoing beer belly bubbly gut laughter here!!
😁😁😁
Woo!! Woo!!
Kind Regards and oh my aching gut – K
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Your gut is aching
But I’m glad it’s from laughter
Have a beer on me 🙂
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Reblogged this on theblackwallblog and commented:
A must must must red!! 😎😎😁😁
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then I fixed my typo… hahaha
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An awesome post!
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Why thank you Brenda
The only thing more awesome
Is you in person 🙂
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Drunk swimmer pee pee
Makes up dumb cover story
Forgets video
These were fun to read. 😁
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I enjoyed yours too
Thank you for letting us know
And your Channel rocks 🙂
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That glass bridge… yikes! :O
Well done! 🙂
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Yes indeed, Bradley
Go, tell it on the mountain
Postcards instead please
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Creativity abounds!
Loved this poetic digest
“Hi” baby T-Rex
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Even with planning
My syllables are too long
Clearly, I can’t count
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Dan, you are the man
Happens to the best of us
And yay! Dinosaurs 🙂
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You managed to haiku your way through this newsy post without a reference to Donald Trump.
I salute your restraint. *grin*
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I did find it tough
But I looked far and looked wide
And enjoyed the ride 🙂
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Ha! Wonderful idea, look forward to more 🙂
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You want more you say?
Well then, how could I resist
Was born to do this 🙂
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Sweet! You can Haiku like a pro bro!
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Cool idea – crunchy and concise!
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Thank you for that Dave
That’s what’s cool about haikus
The killer punchlines 🙂
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Hai-cool!
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This blog post was great –
concise and creative, too!
But I still want cake.
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Yay, glad you liked it!
Let me tell you a secret
I still want cake too 😉
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Hilarious! Some of the haiku didn’t follow 5-7-5, but that’s cancelled out by the funny factor. 🙂
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Counted them again
All are fine except last one
Fixed. Glad you liked them 🙂
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Yep. Too easy. 🙂 It gets to be “fun” (not) when you find that the way a word is pronounced in one part of the English speaking world (celestial for example) is not the way it’s pronounced in another, giving it an extra syllable.
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Great post. I love writing English Haiku’s, but I enjoy writing Tanka poetry more.
Thanks for a beautful read, counting on my fingers as I read.
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The pleasure is mine
Where there is life there is rhyme
Just go with the flow 🙂
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Those are funny
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Haikus are great.. Just discovering their great sense of communication.. It’s being a fruitful journey for all of these two days..
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And these are actually good
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I’m not a poet
Which means I find Haiku hard
Always run out of
Great post. Loved it. Well Done
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