Hello everyone.

Who would like something different for a Saturday evening?

(No! Not that! I’m not climbing into a cake for you no matter how much you are willing to pay me. And I really like cake but there are some things a man just won’t do to pay the bills.)

Where the hell was I? Oh yes, on with the show!

May I present to you all, a Weekly News Round Up & Commentary made up entirely of haikus!

(If you don’t know what haikus are then I suggest you hurry up and find out before all our teas and coffees get cold – hurry up, chop chop! Here’s a handy guide for you:-

Wikipedia – Haiku

I thought it was about time to combine my love of poetry with the news, so here we go!

If you enjoy these or would like to see me write news stories in other poetic forms/styles (or would just like to suggest something completely bananas) then why not let us know in the comments below.


World’s highest/longest
Glass bridge opens in China
Pack spare underwear


(Original story :- BBC News – Glass bridge: China opens world’s highest and longest)


Tougher rules in place
For tax avoidance advice
Stuff cash in mattress


(Original story – BBC Business News – Tax avoidance: Accountants face tougher penalties)


Fossils misinterpreted
Steven Spielbeard lied


(Original story – BBC Earth – Meet Nanotyrannus, the dinosaur that never really existed)


A study suggests
Golfers have oddly shaped hips
Really? New balls please


(Original story – BBC Health – Golfers have unusual hips, study suggests)


Want eternal youth?
Lentils and celibacy
No nookie? Beer me


(Original story – BBC World News Asia – Secret of eternal youth? Lentils, yoga and celibacy)


Uber drivers ask
Where they fit in self drive cars
The boot or back seat?


(Original story – The Guardian Technology News – ‘We’re just rentals’: Uber drivers ask where they fit in a self-driving future)


Tip: How to take your
Teenagers on holiday
Bound/gagged – see, easy


(Original story – The Guardian Family News – How to take your teenagers on holiday)


Thank you for reading
Hope you enjoyed all of them
Until next time friends 🙂