As you may be aware, I hail from England. Right now, we are preparing for a major football tournament – the European Championships! A summer of footie!
Yes, I can be flamboyant. Football does that to even the most straight-laced man, but I digress slightly. It’s at this stage of events, shortly before a major tournament begins, that the nation is transformed. We go from being office workers, salesmen, painters, carpenters, plumbers and more, to being pundits, with learned and expert opinions. In short, we become Supreme Authorities on football (I of course, am a Supreme Authority on football*).
*this statement may be a small lie**
**alright, it’s a whopper.
So, everyone is now a master of tactics and team selection. We are all absolutely certain we can do a better job than this man:
Sorry Roy, but this picture was too good to pass up.
Why am I a Supreme Authority? Well, I, like millions of fellow menfolk, have watched a football match or two. I’ve played Football Manager, which is a frighteningly realistic simulation of the sport (though still missing things, like ‘player seen snogging supermodel at 3am outside nightclub’ or ‘player seen snorting unsavoury substance’). I’ve even been known to win trophies on Football Manager – so come on, my opinion obviously counts for more, right? Right?!
As and when England crash out (probably during the group stage), my armchair opinion will be proven right. Meanwhile, a lot of us will be doing this:
Coincidentally, given the shock outcome of England actually contriving to win the Euros (do the planets align this year?), the above images also apply.
So what does it all boil down to? Well, if anyone at the FA wants my ideas, feel free to write to me. Supreme Authority, 123 Imagination Land. Oh, and can I have millions of pounds now?
You surely can’t be more of a supreme footie expert than the London cabbies? I never watch football, except when it’s England in the World Cup or the Euro, and then suddenly I turn all patriotic, and get swept up in that euphoric hopeful stage where we still, deep down, have a secret belief that we might actually get beyond the first round.
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Even cabbies worship my knowledge.
I always say it will be our year. If I say it every year, it will come true right? Right?!
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Yep, this year for sure!
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Hilarious take on footie! Good on you.
*grin* and *thumbs up*
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Thank you!
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I don’t know a thing about “footie”, but you sound suspiciously like my husband when he discusses the very real possibility that the Cubs will win the World Series in Baseball…ever year….despite historical evidence that would suggest otherwise.
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Of course the Cubs will win – just as Liverpool will win the league next season, and England will conquer Europe*
*May or may not be a lie!
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Sports. Enough said. 🙂
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