Posted in Floridaborne, Humor

FULL BRAIN SYNDROME

It’s Wednesday!  It’s, like, actually Wednesday at 2 in the morning and I, like,  

FORGOT!!!!

Ms. Anal Retentive does NOT forget when it’s time to write a post for NWR!  

No!  Ms. Perfection has to have said post written a minimum of 3 days prior so that she can look at it 600 times before it’s published.

Scooby Doo,  like, where are you when I, like, need you?  

scooby doo.jpg
From Wikipedia, because I’m, you know, like, in a rush??

Why, you might ask, would I forget something this mind-bogglingly important?

As Kelly Bundy would put it:  

kellybundy.jpg
DADDY!  MY BRAIN IS FULL!     (funny-pictures.picphotos.net)

 

In case you missed that series segment of “Married with Children,” because it was aired in 1994, here is an explanation of Kelly Bundy’s brain:

Bud Bundy: You have to understand, Kelly’s brain can hold anything. But there are some things you have to know. One: that it’s totally empty.

Al: Woudn’t you know it.

Bud Bundy: And two: that you can’t just shove information into her head. You have to be careful. Feed her information slowly, bit by bit, drop by drop, until she’s full.

Al: Full?

Bud Bundy: Oh, yeah. Kelly’s brain can actually get full with information. And then you got to be really careful. Because each new thought after that will totally replace an old one. That’s why Kelly forgot to wear a blouse on the day she went to take her drivers ed exam.

(My thanks to http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0642312/quotes for this dialogue)

YES!  I HAVE FULL BRAIN SYNDROME!  

Is there a support group for that?  

If so, would we forget when we were supposed to meet?  

Worse yet, is it the precursor to ALZHEIMER’S (a word more dreaded in the English Language than KARMA) ?????

The reason for this particular foray into forgetfulness is easy to explain:

Bureaucracy

(the place where anal-retentive people go to die).

Because I’m in such a D@mned hurry, I’ll expand on that explanation by stealing from the post I made on the day that bureaucracy walked into the office to tell me how to cross my t’s and dot my i’s.

paperwork

Drowning in a sea of paper today.

Here’s a question for you:  Why is government bureaucracy NOT like writing fiction?

Answer:  Because when you write fiction, it has to make sense.

No one in government considers the repercussions of creating rules that turn your job into a script idea for Mission Impossible. 

I’ll be spending the next few days getting over a bad case of Frazzled.  Once I emerge from this hideous state, I’ll come up with a way to cope with the newest in a series of bureaucratic blunders.

But not right now.  

Time for several games of Rummy 500 that I play every night with a dinosaur, an alien and Jack.

In case you’re interested in playing cards with me, the Rummy 500 I speak of is Hoyle Cards on a used disk from around the time Kelly Bundy was learning to drive.

That’s all I have in me for today.  It’s time for me to post on my own blog.  Fortunately, it’s Wordless Wednesday.

Advertisements

Author:

Crabby person who likes to rant. Reading it is free so remember-- you get what you pay for. Well endowed with the multi-layered weirdness that lurks inside a not-quite-right-mind. That's how I write SciFi. Crabby, weird, and to make matters worse, I write poetry. Some of it is even...shudder...nice. I feel like a sandwich that went on a journey of self-discovery just to find I was pastrami with Maraschino Cherries, hot peppers, the contents of an MRE and broccoli on gluten free cheese bread. After that kind of trauma no 'wich is the same again.

17 thoughts on “FULL BRAIN SYNDROME

  1. I’m a big, big fan of the “I forgot it was my turn in the barrel” trope. Well done with clever plot twists along the way. And we’d tell you about the meeting but who knows what that would push out of your head. It’s not worth the risk.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. There will be a time when you’ll look at one of your kids (I’ll call them Larry and Jill) open your mouth, and say “LaJill” or “JiLarry.” Kids think that’s funny until you’re 60 and can’t remember who they are. 🙂

      Like

  2. I know what you mean. That “I forgot to post” sinking feeling is like that dream where you’re waiting tables and forget to go take someone’s order. And you’re naked. I used to have that dream a lot.

    Liked by 1 person

Nudge us with a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s