Yes, I admit it.  I wrote this post BEFORE looking at what someone else had written.  I have a good excuse, writing a 68,373 word novel in the first 19 days of November for NaNoWriMo and still keeping up with my day job.

Life sucks, and then there’s Thanksgiving dinner. What’s the best way to stay calm in the culinary storm?

calmturkey

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Yes, it’s Thanksgiving tomorrow in the USA.  Time to

  • burn the turkey,
  • whip up a quick gravy mix with more chemicals in it than a science lab,
  • open a can of mystery cranberry product, and
  • put so much brown sugar in the sweet potatoes that the token diabetic goes into sugar shock.
sweetpotato casserole

Only 1000 calories per teaspoon.

 

From what I gleaned from my usual 5 minute search of the Internet,  a poll says that Turkey is the favorite food for Thanksgiving, and the least favorite dish is green bean casserole. 

greenbeanjpg

Vomit is more appealing

Who knew?  HINT:  Anyone who has ever been invited to the bosses house on T-day and felt obligated to force it down their throat.

That poll was from 2005, leading me to believe that Thanksgiving polls are not all that popular. 

Personally, I rank Thanksgiving one notch higher than New Years Eve. Why the hell does any woman want to spent 10 hours in the kitchen while the men watch football, and people yell at each other for 20 minutes as they shovel food into their mouths, then spend 2 hours more cleaning up the mess?  Not me!

Turkeymax

The best Thanksgiving starts on Saturday so that I can have Turkey and the trimmings all week at my leisure!  Then I have an entire turkey-free day to polish my attack plan for Cyber Monday.  I think I’ll start with Puritan Pride this year.  I need more Vitamin D.

tofurky

How about some delicious tofurky to go with your green bean casserole?

Today, I have a poll of my own to conduct.  Just write your answer in the reply section below and feel free to vent your turkey heart out!

  1.  What is your favorite Thanksgiving activity?

a.  Cooking, baking and cleaning.

b.  Listening to relatives fight over dinner.

c.  Forget the relatives! I buy turkeys on sale for 59 cents a pound, boil the hell out of them and freeze the meat in packets so I’ll have meat for the next 3 months.

d.  I’d rather have a root canal without anesthetic than be within 100 miles of a relative at Thanksgiving.

e.  Other (this includes going out to eat alone or with someone who isn’t going to remind you of how many ways you’ve disappointed them over the years).

burrito

Quick, delicious, and easier to throw at your relatives than a turkey.

 2.  What is your favorite Thanksgiving dinner?

a. Turkey, dressing, gravy, sweet potatoes—you know…the usual.

b. Tofurky and vegetables (anything from Artichokes to Zucchini)

c. Burritos, burgers or barbecue.

d. Ham, macaroni and cheese, and don’t forget the green bean casserole.

e. Skip the dinner and go straight for the pie.

 optimistturkey

  1. How much weight do you gain between Halloween and New Year’s Eve each year?

a.  People hate me because I never gain a pound.

b.  1 – 10 pounds.

c.  11 – 20 pounds.

d.  21 – 40 pounds.

e.  Just shut up and pass me the entire bowl of egg nog!

That’s all the questions I have for you at this time.  I look forward to your answers….I think.