Posted in Humor, Peg-o-Leg's Ramblings, Trends

In Defense Of The Fanny Pack

Looking stylish, OH yeah.
Chillin’ with the rest of the PTA and lookin’ goooooood.

I have a fanny pack.  I’m not talking about a 20-year old leftover sitting in the bottom of the Goodwill donation box, nor am I being ironic.  I own a fanny pack, I use it, and I like it. Deal.

I realize that any shred of cool I might have claimed has just gone out the window, and I hope we can still be friends. My daughters treat me like a leper if we’re out in public and I’m fanny-tized.   When we went to New York City a couple of years ago I was afraid they would be abducted off the streets of Chinatown because they insisted on walking several blocks behind me.

Me on vaca. What? WHAT???
This is me on vaca in The Big Apple. What? WHAT???

I don’t fanny-up for important business meetings, swanky events or funerals – there’s a time and place for everything. But they’re extremely practical for a lot of situations. I bet more people would give in to the fanny-allure if they really thought about how great they are to:

tote stuff: Daily life requires a lot of equipment. There are very few places outside my living room where I don’t want to have access to my car keys, Kleenex, pepper spray, drivers license, credit card, spending cash, hairbrush, Chap-stick, cell phone and hand-sanitizer.  Any mother of a young child could double this list. You can’t carry more than a Kleenex in today’s skin-tight jeans  – ask anyone who has been to a college or pro football game lately, where bags of any kind are banned.

keep your hands free: I need to keep my hands free when:
– walking/hiking/exercising
– shopping
– sight-seeing
I usually carry a purse, but they can get in the way. They’re heavy, they dig into your shoulder and they slide right down your arm at the exact moment you’re reaching for a fragile, priceless vase at an antique shop.

stay with you: The world is a dangerous place and I’m careless. Put the two together and the risk rises exponentially that my purse will be:
– stolen
– left behind.
I might set my purse down in all the excitement of bargain hunting, and the next thing you know, poof!  It’s gone.   When your valuables are firmly belted around your waist it’s a lot tougher for them to walk away.  And while I might not feel it if a robber dipped their hand into my purse, I think I’d notice if somebody was fondling my midsection.

We were talking about this vital fashion accessory just this past weekend and my cousin Kathy, who is a super-chic fashionista, said the fanny pack is coming back into style.  Yes!  I knew if I waited long enough I would be fashion-forward once more.  Wait until I tell my girls!

This would be a good time to root around in my closet and unearth some more classic pieces.  Now that the fanny pack is back in style, mom jeans are sure to be cutting-edge again any day now.

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Author:

R-A-M-B-L-I-N-G-S, Ram...Blin!

61 thoughts on “In Defense Of The Fanny Pack

  1. You just made my day. I,too, have a full assortment of fanny packs from when I made my entire family adorn them at Disney world many years ago. Fanny packs are the most sensible purse wear from a healthy back and shoulder point of view as well as an anti snatch point of view. I know I’m rambling but you got me so excited saying they are coming back in style. I may be able to stop seeing my physical therapist for my aches and pains. Yay.

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  2. I tried a fanny pack once. It was in a khaki canvas and looked quite nice. Except it kept sliding around on my hips and pulling my jeans down. I ended up with a case of plumber’s butt exposure. Maybe if I’d worn it with mom jeans…

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  3. So we need to add fanny packs to the list of things we disagree about, Peg? I think we are stretching the bonds of bloggie buddihood here …

    Seriously, though, I agree with you. I do a lot of hiking and end up taking a small backpack to hold my water, my keys, my phone my kleenex, my dog treats my … my … well you know. My STUFF. And of course since he carries nothing, I have my husband’s stuff, too. So I am glad to hear that they are making a come back. I bet it’s because they are making “portable” phones (remember when we called them that?) bigger and bigger.

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  4. Unfortunately, the discomfort of carrying a fanny pack is not fully compensated by the additional volume I get since there isn’t enough volume in a regular fanny pack. So I’m either use a pocket or a backpack, not this illegitimate child of these two.

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      1. It’s only illegitimate because currently backpacks and pockets are not allowed to marry. Maybe in a few years – gays can marry now, and we’re always hearing how this will inevitably lead to marriages between humans and animals, humans and inanimate objects, and, finally, inanimate objects and inanimate objects.

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  5. You’re not fooling me. You’re pushing this fashion redo because you are gearing up Peg-o-leg Industries to flood the market with these. For just 10% of the profits, I’ll not turn you in for insider trading, because I’m that kind of guy.

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  6. I am letting my voice be heard… yes, I love my fanny pack! It’s very soft, forest green leather, with cool zipper compartments… I bought it on a skiing trip years ago. I use it when I run pretty much every day. Used to use armbands for my phone, so I could listen to music, but the velcro always wore out eventually. But the fanny does the trick! And it holds other important stuff, like keys and mace…!

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  7. It’s not just daughters who will disown you for wearing a fanny pack Peg. I have a grown son who was mortified when I took one with us on a family trip to Disney World. I insisted it was the only easy way I could carry my ipad to document every detail of the vacation. I got a lot of great videos of him walking away with his hands up in the air. At least I didn’t have a camelbak with built in water hose, but it would have been convenient in that Florida heat. Next time…..

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  8. Fanny packs remind me of colostomy bags (not that there is anything wrong with them – in fact the fact that one can divert their colon to the outside while other things heal and repair is great), I just don’t want to look like I have one unless I really need one.

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  9. Fanny pack *snigger*. I’m sure you know why we laugh at the name fanny pack over here, and why we call them Bum Bags instead. They are definitely practical, and if it’s true that they are coming back in style, then I’ll be there! Not that I only wear things that are in style but with two teenage kids in the house who I embarrass enough, there are limits. I kind of hate carrying round a shoulder bag, and if I can get away with just shoving things in my pockets I will (which isn’t very often). Wait…I found this! – https://celebrity.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/6-celebrities-who-are-trying-to-bring-back-fanny-packs-195458033.html?nf=1

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  10. The name fanny pack would seem to indicate that the pouch is located, you know, around back. Everyone I see wearing one usually has the pouch in the front. As a guy, that role has already been filled for me. I just end up cramming my lipstick, mace and mascara in my pockets. I don’t have to tell you what havoc that wreaks on the look of my skinny jeans.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good point about the placement. But I think if they called it a Beer Gut Sac it would kill much of the allure.
      Some people carry their junk in their trunk, or so I’ve heard.

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  11. Oh thank god they’re bringing fanny packs back! I hate hate hate HATE carrying a purse. If I could get away with it, I’d wear three FPs. One in front, one in back and one around my neck for my glasses because I can never seem to find those damned things.

    By the way, I have a very nice photo of me and the husband back before we were married and we are both posing at Disney’s Epcot with the biggest, ugliest fanny packs known to mankind. Ah, to be so young and in love and oblivious to any sense of fashion…..

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    1. Hold in to that photo, Darlonica, it’s like money in the bank. Fannytization is much harder for dudes to explain away. You should be able to use the risk of exposure to get the hubster to do ANYTHING you want

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  12. I, too, own a fanny pack. It fits an umbrella, flashlight, keys, cellphone, 2 sets of glasses and an assortment of pens. Somehow, it’s not considered an airplane carry-on when it’s your overinflated belt. 🙂

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  13. I’m going to share this with my daughter, who waxes judgmental on the fanny pack (especially Hubby rocking the FP with coaching shorts and tube socks) every chance she gets. Now if someone would just bring Lunchables back into Vogue, she’d be off my back.

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  14. I have to admit, I got on a plane and was sitting next to a very young man whom I felt sorry for thinking he was fitted with a colostomy bag….until he took out his passport upon revealing it was actually a fanny pack.

    I still felt sorry for him…

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  15. I am glad to hear they might be coming back into fashion. I have several and use them often, but I would like to get one a little bigger. Many of them are too small to hold all that stuff and now I have a tablet I like to carry around. Fashion? I don’t even know what that is.

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