Don't give me that look. One day some kid's going to flush you down the toilet. As least I can survive under water.

Don’t give me that look. One day some kid’s going to flush you down the toilet. As least I can survive under water. (photo credit: Sphero)

Ah yes, the modern world. Most days it’s a joyous wonder to behold. Now that there’s an app for this, that, and the other thing, do you think all our needs are being met and our wants, dreams and desires are being nurtured? Or do we plug in so we don’t have to get out of our pjs, shower, or make an effort of any kind to interact with our fellow humans?

iPad. iPhone. iPod. iWhatever. Technology is very egocentric and the ego must be fed. We humans love anything that promises to make our lives easier. Even if the new tech toy doesn’t actually do much of anything but spin around looking pretty we still want it in our toy box. It’s not what it does that draws us in. It’s the promise, the possibility, that the new toy will eclipse every other toy we have ever owned.

My soon-to-be-ex is a good example of someone blinded by the bling of a shiny new thing. Never mind that his old toy can still rock skinny jeans, is funny and kind, owns her own power tools and knows how to use them, and is pretty fucking amazing.

[pause while Blogdramedy reboots her programming to get back to the point]

Say hello to BB-8 from Sphero.

BB-8 is a remote-controlled droid from the upcoming film “Star Wars: The Force Awakens.” It was designed to be the best new bud for R2D2 and CP30 and has now crossed over to be the toy to own this holiday season.

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BB-8 is never distracted when out roaming the world. He always returns to the one who took him out of his box.

This oh-so-cute droid is controlled with an iPhone, and comes with a patrol mode that allows the droid to roam around by himself. Which is kind of cool and if it came with an on-board camera that could link up to my laptop, then I’d know if and when I need to vacuum under the sofa. Even better if he could dust for me but the designers refer to him as a “him” so that’s not going to happen.

Owners can also design their own routes and have BB-8 follow them. I wish I’d had my own BB-8 two months ago when I discovered my husband was cheating on me. I could have switched him over to “stalker mode” and gotten to the truth sooner. Again, a camera would have been a bonus add-on. That mode I’d call “CapCheat.”

[yet another pause while Blogdramedy downs yet another libation]

Sphero says BB-8 has an “adaptive personality” and his “attitude” and “actions” will evolve the more a user interacts with him. BB-8 can also receive voice commands via the app, which means that a user can say “move forward” and BB-8 will move forward.

Does this mean BB-8 has the ability to learn from his mistakes? Or does he just circle around endlessly, repeating the same mistakes until someone trips over him and accidentally on purpose tosses him down the garbage disposal?

Maybe I’m not giving the designers of BB-8 enough credit. If this little droid can adapt to his surroundings, and meet each day with an attitude of “what can I do to make a difference in someone’s life?” perhaps BB-8 has the potential to let his actions speak louder than words. Because sometimes words are just words and someone can blah, blah, blah on as much as they want about why they made the choices they did. A real man is not afraid to be honest. A real man learns from his mistakes. A real man can move forward in a relationship without feeling threatened. A real man doesn’t lie. A real man doesn’t cheat.

BB-8 is not a real man. I get that. But he listens. He learns. He takes my feelings, wants, and desires into consideration when computing his run program. I see possibilities in our relationship.

Now if only the designers would get to work on some tweaks to this droid’s software and a major overhaul of his hardware. I’d like to see Version 2.0 of BB-8 pop out of his box with vocal enhancements and a “pleasure” setting.

Because then maybe I’d buy two. *wicked grin*

Would you ever let a droid into your life? Or do you already live with one…