Posted in Attitudes, Floridaborne, Humor

InZombieA

Oh, Man!  The 4th Wednesday snuck up on me like a Ninja fairy, her little wings softly fluttering as she chops off my head.

shutterstock
From shutterstock.com.  But having your head handed to you feels more like shudderstalk.

Time certainly does fly when you’re slogging through a month, ½ comatose from insomnia.  It’s been about as much fun as an ant race…between 2 dead ants.

As I stare at the computer with 68 pounds of fat white dog on my quickly numbing feet, it occurs to me…for no apparent reason…that people throw up stupid sayings all the time.

That’s what I’ll write for NWR this month!  Stupid sayings &…stuff!

I’ll start with one that I heard a girl tell the star football player when I was in high school,  “If a bird had your brain it would fly backwards.”

?

Perhaps she was taking the advice of Marilyn Monroe?

“Fear is stupid.  So are regrets.”   —  Marilyn Monroe

197522-Sometimes-You-Just-Have-To-Throw-On-Your-Crown-And-Remind-Them-Who-They-Are-Dealing-With

Now for a couple of pictures from www.crazyhyena.com

daily-funny-pictures-crazy-compilation-16-7-2015
Sandy Claws is coming to town.  This should get interesting the first time someone honks his horn a foot away.  Hmmm…bloody claws is coming to town?  Only if the guy on the motor scooter still has a chest.

I like the sage advice in black, white, and brazen:

funny-let-people-go-they-are-stupid

Yep.

Now for a few from www.lovethispic.com (They have more fun to choose from than Marilyn Monroe with a crown).

196347-No-I-Didn-t-Say

Below you will find the ultimate in stupidity.  But then again, we’re dealing with a cat:

194422-Kermit-And-Miss-Piggy-Looking-For-Their-Son

If you’re feeling magnanimous, you could give to a charitable cause.  Help Bubba save Moron car insurance.

car ins
Send all donations to Bubba DeDogg, 13 Dumass Drive, Podunk, Florida (Be sure to zoom in on the passengers side)

Hope y’all enjoyed this relatively short foray into stupidity.  Were I not 3 braincells away from an official diagnosis of Zombie Insomnia Disorder (ZID for short), I might write more.

But this poster is all I have to offer at the moment.

xtop-20-short-funny-sayings-about-stupid-people-and-stupidity-21701020.jpg.pagespeed.ic.1PsnuknLJF

If you want to know where this poster comes from, it’s on the right side, but since I’m this deep into the ZID, all I can read is 2012.  I wonder…am I destined to be a general in the InZombieA apocalypse? Not the best choice unless you’re looking for a war destined to be a dead giveaway.

I’ll shut up now.

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Author:

Crabby person who likes to rant. Reading it is free so remember-- you get what you pay for. Well endowed with the multi-layered weirdness that lurks inside a not-quite-right-mind. That's how I write SciFi. Crabby, weird, and to make matters worse, I write poetry. Some of it is even...shudder...nice. I feel like a sandwich that went on a journey of self-discovery just to find I was pastrami with Maraschino Cherries, hot peppers, the contents of an MRE and broccoli on gluten free cheese bread. After that kind of trauma no 'wich is the same again.

13 thoughts on “InZombieA

    1. I had the same reaction when I happened upon the green eggs and ham poster.

      Those ninja fairies are little killing machines. I wish that the dinosaurs chasing me would develop a taste for them. 🙂

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  1. I love dumb sayings, most likely because they are fifty percent of my word power. The first time I heard, “She’s dumber than a box of rocks!” It took me two days to find out who they were talking about. The real kicker was when someone expressed, “Her elevator doesn’t travel all floors!”

    “Uglier than a bag of dirt!” “A few bricks short of a load!” …

    By the way, I’m a ninja! Power Ranger Pink (It’s my disguise;)! I’ve got your back. Those fairy demons ain’t seen nothing, yet. Those suckers are messing with the wrong mojo. No, I did not say Mojito.

    Do you care for extra sugar with your crushed mint? It wards off bad fairy dust.

    P.S. Can I have the dog?

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    1. I take honey in my mint tea. 🙂

      The first time I heard the ad that said “save more on car insurance,” what I heard was “save moron car insurance.” That’s when I started making a joke of it (years ago). The puppy in the picture is none other than then Gentle Giant and what you’re looking at is my car. I just love that picture–it looks like he’s driving.

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  2. I love this!!! My husband is from the South and he has some really stupid things he says, such as “Grinning like a jackass eating briars”, “It’s like a cow pissing on a flat rock” (have never really figured out what that means) and “We were so poor, we couldn’t pay attention” -if I had a dollar for every time I heard that I would be rich!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember the one about “pay attention.” I heard it several times, too. 🙂

      When nickels had a buffalo motif, my dad used to say, “Your mother knows how to squeeze the buffalo til it sh…screams.”

      A cow pissing on a flat rock must be a lot like that saying, “You done s#!t in your own food.” I’ve heard that one so many times in my life, it’s a wonder I didn’t get Dysentery somewhere along the line. 🙂

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