Posted in Floridaborne, Humor, Special Report

True Self Test (You Betcha!)

Let’s have some fun today with

***))) SPECIAL REPORT (((***

Crystal Ball

Instead of a news report or a rant, let’s delve into the mysterious world of fake psychics, or psychic fakers.

Anyone who believes their one-size-fits-none daily horror-scope means anything will believe the factoids I’m about to divulge.

Hey!  If you want a quickie, tell me your name, address, phone number, and personal web page. I’ll do a google search and tell you all about yourself in 10 minutes.   (DISCLAIMER:  I will not be held responsible for what happens to anyone who chooses to put all this information in the reply section.) I’ll even add in a few woo-woo sounds and perhaps I’ll use a crystal ball just to make it official.

How about something a bit more esoteric, a lot more fun, and less costly?

BEHOLD!

!!!FIND YOUR TRUE SELF THROUGH THE COLOR/NUMBER/NAME/WORD TEST!!!

  1. What is your favorite color: Black, White, Red, Yellow, Pink, Green, Purple, Orange, Blue or Other? If none of these are your favorite color and it’s something weird like “peach,” just mark it up as “other” and don’t argue with the psychic.
  1. What is your favorite number? Everybody has one. You know it’s true.   If it’s something like 3829, then add the numbers together (22) and then add them again (4).  If it works for numerology, it works for this, too.
  1. What is the first letter of the first name you were born with? If your name is Eleanor and you’ve used the name Nora for years, the first letter of the first name is still going to be “E”. 
  1. What one word would you use to describe yourself? Not what everyone else thinks about you, but what you think.

All right, are you ready to find out what it all means?

1.

Black            = Not quite right in the head

White           = Superiority complex

Red              = Brazen exhibitionist

Yellow          = Much too cheerful for the rest of us.

Pink             = Not connected to reality.

Green           = Grounded in reality

Purple          = Reconnecting with childhood or, possibly, Alzheimer’s.

Orange         = Vacillates between vibrant and much-too-acidic

Blue             = Cool cat, cruising along and taking life in stride.

Other           = A Diva who insists upon being treated like royalty.

 

2.     If you insist you don’t have a favorite number, pick 6.  I guarantee it fits.

1 =   the first in line for free anything.

2 =   tries harder and strives for excellence

3 =   the type of person who tries to steal someone’s spouse

4 =   gives everyone a square deal

5 =   like a pentagram, there’s a little devil inside.

6 =   a bit self-righteous

7 =   endowed with the luck o’ the Irish (either a pot of gold or a potato famine)

8 =   A connoisseur of good food and wine.

9 =   tends to be a snappy dresser (either wears clothes with snaps for convenience, or fancy duds.)

 

3.  First Letter of First name. That means you, Leon Richard (aka Dick).

A, E, I, O, U = you have vowel problems.  No…seriously, you either are, or you wanna-be, alluring or aristocratic.

J, K, V and sometimes Q =  your parents wanted you to be special, just like everyone else.

B, C, D, F, G, H = your parents didn’t think you were going to be anything special, so they gave you a boring name like Barbara, Charles, Donald, Frances, George or Hortense.

L, M, N = you tend to take the middle road.

P, R, S, T, W = your parents wanted to give you a great start in life, unless your name is Percy, Rozwell, Satan, or Willard.

X, Y, Z and sometimes Q = your parents wanted you to learn how to deal with comedians, bullies and idiots who think it’s hilarious to make fun of names.

4.  Add an “and” to the front of the sentence  above and change “you” to “I/me”.  Just stick in the damned filler and make it a sentence!!!!

DON’T FORGET the 1-word self-description.  As an example, my self-description is “writer.”  I was going to say “humble” but I didn’t want you to spit out your coffee when you LOL’d.

All right, in the reply section, tell us what the stars say about you!

I’ll go first.

Green, 4, J, writer.    Grounded in reality, I give everyone a square deal and my parents wanted me to be special, just like everyone else; a writer.

See how this works?   And it’s all based on good, hard science.  You betcha.

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Author:

Crabby person who likes to rant. Reading it is free so remember-- you get what you pay for. Well endowed with the multi-layered weirdness that lurks inside a not-quite-right-mind. That's how I write SciFi. Crabby, weird, and to make matters worse, I write poetry. Some of it is even...shudder...nice. I feel like a sandwich that went on a journey of self-discovery just to find I was pastrami with Maraschino Cherries, hot peppers, the contents of an MRE and broccoli on gluten free cheese bread. After that kind of trauma no 'wich is the same again.

19 thoughts on “True Self Test (You Betcha!)

  1. By now you’d think I would have figured this out. But no.
    I’ve needed a quiz like this for ever so long.
    Thanks for showing me the “real” me!

    Other = A Diva who insists upon being treated like royalty. (Chartreuse)
    3 – I wouldn’t try to steal someone’s spouse, but maybe their shoe collection
    B AND D – BD
    Splendiferous / writer / fabulous / introvert / idealist / smart / funny – because it depends on what day of the week it is

    And look how well I follow directions… *shrugs shoulders*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on upside of sideways and commented:

    This month on The Nudge Wink Report, Floridaborne #NWR Adventure Reporter, shares a little something something about herself. Management did not ask her to do this. But now she wants YOU to SHARE, too. By taking this one simple test. Get caffeinated and head over to NWR to find out how your score!

    Like

    1. I’m about to leave for a jet plane (and hopefully, I’ll be back again– my apologies to Peter, Paul and Mary). I’ll answer replies tonight or tomorrow, according to what my comatose meter is registering after getting off the plane). 🙂

      Like

  3. I missed BD’s advice about being caffeinated before trying to take this test, consequently the one word that describes me is “confused.” Trotting off to find more coffee. (but you already saw that in your crystal ball, didn’t you, O Great and All-Seeing FB?)

    Like

  4. I’m purple, 4, D, “cantankerous”.

    I’m reconnecting with childhood, or possibly Alzheimer’s, I give everyone a square deal, my parents named me Hortence, and I’m cantankerous. Because I’m named Hortence and can’t find my car keys.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Blue, 5 (14), K, reserved

    Cool cat, cruising along and taking life in stride
    Like a pentagram, there’s a little devil inside
    Kayla – you’re parents wanted you to be special, just like everyone else
    I am reserved and quiet.

    Liked by 1 person

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