Posted in Attitudes, Blogdramedy, Humor

Why some tourists should come with a warning label

Hello world!

Blogdramedy here reporting “live” from the sunny east coast of Sicily. Against all odds, NWR management approved my travel request but, so far, are refusing to cover the cost of all this in-depth investigative snooping. I’m starting to think they just wanted me out of the office.

But forget that. Let’s run through the checklist:

Hung over? No.
Getting enough sleep? Yes.
Too much coffee? Never.
Freaking out about eruptions from Mount Etna? Ever so slightly.
Embarrassed by fellow tourists? Of course.

I mean…really? REALLY? Maybe I missed something. Like the circus was in town? It’s possible, right? Oh, yeah. No.

DSC_0034
Bit blurry but I couldn’t resist turning to take a picture. I blame my delayed reaction to taking a full frontal because who wouldn’t need a moment to process this.

Just as I was recovering over lunch with a nice glass of wine, I read this while booking a hotel room for our trip up to Rome.

“…breakfast was typically Italian fair which doesn’t cater for western diets, wifi was terrible, TV was Italian only…” — found on Trip Advisor

Which made me wonder…then why Italy?

But it led me to googling tourists and the things that come out of their mouths, after they disengage their brains. Or after deciding to give up coffee. Or, I don’t know, wearing their ball caps too tight?

A man who went to the Costa del Sol complained that there was too much food to eat from the buffet in his all-inclusive hotel. As a result, he put on ‘at least 5lbs’ during his trip, which he wasn’t too pleased about.

“Does the water go all the way around the island?”

“Is there anyone here who speaks Australian?”

Frustration turned to fury for one visitor after finding out their Gucci handbag, purchased for $20 at the markets in China, was not real.

“Why did the queen build Windsor Castle so close to Heathrow Airport?” — Asked by an American tourist in England.

NO!
I know how he feels. Because…OMG.

“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

“On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”

“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

“The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room.”

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

“They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

“No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

“Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

“We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

“The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide-book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

Facepalm

“I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

“The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort’. We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

“There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

“We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

“I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

“My fiance and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

Another traveller wanted to move rooms as he insisted the air conditioner was making strange noises, only to eventually discover the sounds was coming from an electric toothbrush in his own suitcase.

“Don’t lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state.” — An irate man to a travel agent, after returning from a trip to Orlando. The man was upset because his hotel room did not have an ocean view.

One man said he was unhappy about the fact that he had not been able to fully enjoy his holiday to Portugal. His hotel bed was ‘too comfy’ meaning that he overslept on more than one occasion when he would have ‘preferred to be up early and making the most of it.’

Okay. This is only a cartoon. This would NOT happen in real life.

What about you? Have any funny travel stories to share?

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Author:

Blogdramedy is a recovering communications specialist who now spends her days helping non-profits communicate effectively. They rarely listen to her advice. When she's not doing that, she writes Upside of Sideways and is a field reporter for The Nudge Wink Report -- both on WordPress. https://upsidesideways.wordpress.com https://nudgewinkreport.wordpress.com

17 thoughts on “Why some tourists should come with a warning label

  1. Happy to see that we all deal with insightful travelers, we have them in Canada too! Many Americans here get pissed off because they put their bank cards in our bank machines and Canadian money comes out, doesn’t the machine know that the card is American? They also become angered when we won’t deal in American funds and give them the daily exchange rate…I would never go to another country and expect them to deal in my currency…arrogance indeed. Arriving at the height of our summer season in July with snow skis and snow machines asking ‘where’s the snow?’ Going to major cities and asking why there are no moose wandering in the downtown..as one fellow told me when arriving for a visit off a cruise ship in Halifax, ‘I promised my wife she’d see a moose!’ I have always believed that some people should be required to take a ‘courteous travel’ course before leaving their country on vacation. For years our southern neighbors have been caught with Canadian flags on their backpacks because of the increasing incidence of these experiences in villages around the world….but it comes from so many places and cultures..or lack of culture as the case may be!!

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    1. Taking a course is a brilliant idea! Although I don’t think I could teach it…without being arrested for battery. Too great an urge to smack someone upside the head. *rolls eyes*

      Why don’t you take that on and then write about it and we’ll post it on NWR. *big grin*

      Like

  2. My wife became frustrated (more than usual) when we went to Aruba because she couldn’t find a weather channel on the TV. She lamented this fact to the guy who owned the restaurant where we were having lunch that day and he laughed. “The weather here is the same every single day” he said “Hot and sunny with a constant breeze”

    I guess that’s why people go there for vacation.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on upside of sideways and commented:

    This week on The Nudge Wink Report, it’s a mixed bag of nuts by NWR’s very own nutologist. Blogdramedy (that’s me) cracks open the world of the dreaded tourist and DOES NOT like what she sees. Head over to NWR and bring your own nuts!

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  4. I keep telling you, there’s a hostel with 1 bathroom for 30 people and they change the sheets once a month. We’ll pay for that. And NWR will pay for as much rice protein as you can eat. 🙂

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      1. I came up with that scenario from experience.

        My daughter was in Morocco for a 6 week course. My son was getting married in Gibraltar to a Brazilian woman he met in Portugal shortly after her course ended.

        During that “down time” my daughter and I toured Morocco. I wrote about the experience for NWR. 🙂

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  5. No hairdressers??? And mosquitoes? Sigh…makes me wonder if people are really thinking when they write these reviews. That hellish flowered outfit takes the cake, though!! 😉

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  6. You’re still in Italy?? Color me jealous. Have some wine for me! I have many funny travel stories. I drove across country twice from Maine to Oregon/Washington. The entire drive all we saw were tumbleweeds and Wall Drug signs. Makes going to Italy all that more appealing, huh.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If I keep having wine for people I’ll have to sign up for the 12-step program when I get home. But for you? Make it two glasses. *grin*

      Still in Italy and enjoying it more and more. Daydreaming about selling the bungalow and moving here figures into at least part of my day. I really should blog about it on my own blog but…it’s amazing how the time flies when it’s sunny and warm.

      Liked by 1 person

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