Posted in Blurt, Humor

The World Is Crazy And I Still Work Here, But All Is Not Lost

The world just seems to have periods where it is just exceptionally out of whack, doesn’t it?

Consider this week. An earthquake devastated Nepal. Why Nepal? Yes, I understand the fault lines and tectonics thing, but I’m asking karmic-ally, why Nepal? They seem like such nice people who live in a pretty country and keep to themselves. You’ve probably never been to a cocktail party and had someone start a conversation by saying “so what do you think about the Nepal problem?”

And Baltimore, wow. Things started with good folks, doing the right thing by speaking up about a problem in their community. And then some fools destroy what the good folks were trying to do (and their city) in the name of “justice”. The result? The political extremes in the U.S. get to rant at each other for another week and nothing will change.

Hi kids! Take it from me. Never get in a giant pressure cooker, OK? OK. (public domain image)

In California, Bumble Bee Foods faces charges after a worker in one of their plants was cooked to death in a giant pressure cooker along with 12,000 pounds of tuna. How does that happen? I can’t imagine a person doing anything that would make them worthy of that kind of fate. It’s being treated as an accidental violation of safety rules. Does that sound fishy to you? Are you surprised that I’d go for the fishy joke?

Did you know you can get the plague from a dog? Neither did I. Nor did four people in Colorado who got it from a pit bull. Some people will tell you that pit bulls are not any more dangerous than other dogs. Yeah. Only the pit bull has signed up to distribute pathogens.

In space, a Russian space ship loaded with tons of supplies for the astronauts aboard the International Space Station is spinning out of control. Those supplies will never reach the station. The space ship will fall back into earth’s atmosphere, catch fire and rain flaming granola bars on some unsuspecting country that doesn’t bother anyone, like Austria.

Even here on The Nudge Wink Report, things are odd. I showed up to post this after not doing any work here for weeks. I still have a job. I’m a little upset that they let the plants on my desk die, but I still work here . No way someone like me still has a job in a world that is just and fair, yet, here I am.

Like I said, things are out of whack. I’ve probably not done you any favors by summarizing all the dark stuff we’ve got going on…and I didn’t even hit it all. I’m sorry to have done that; this is probably a place that you come to get away from all the heavy stuff in the world.

Well, let me console you.

The Kardashians are OK. None of them have been cooked into a six-ton tuna casserole. Flaming granola bars have not showered down upon them. None of their cars have been vandalized and someone watered their plants. As much as I’d like it, a dog hasn’t sneezed on even one of them.

That didn’t help, did it? Can we at least agree that, for a moment, you enjoyed thinking about those things happening?

It really has been a bad week.

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Author:

Most who read my blog don't know me from the man in the moon. But they seem nice and I am, in fact, The Man In The Moon.

25 thoughts on “The World Is Crazy And I Still Work Here, But All Is Not Lost

  1. The prospect of a blizzard of smoking granola bars sounds like an updated version of the opening of “The Gods Must Be Crazy”. I know it’s a long shot, but maybe one of those flaming wads of oats and honey can land on a Kardashian.

    Like

      1. I thought the concept of a primitive tribe finding a discarded Coke bottle from a passing plane and thinking it’s some sort of sign from the Gods was pretty cool, but as soon as the fast-motion Benny Hill-style lion chases started I turned it off.

        Like

  2. Not fair. Life continues to be unfair…wanted to *like* this several times especially the flames of granola falling on the remaining green grass of all those SoCal residents who continue to water…which would include those KardaKinfolk, yes? But couldn’t. Appears I can only *like* once. Not. Cool.

    Like

  3. But there were those tigers that got to swim for the first time ever in Nevada. (Don’t think about all the water their new pool uses up. Just don’t.)

    If we could send some Kardashians in to swim with the tigers, that’d make up for last week, right?

    Like

  4. Reblogged this on upside of sideways and commented:

    This week on The Nudge Wink Report, Oma gives us the lowdown on the bad, the really bad, and the bizarrely bad happenings of the last couple of weeks. On the upside, a certain celebrity (huh?) family didn’t get as much coverage as usual from the media. And that’s good. Check out Oma’s ode now over at NWR!

    Like

  5. Thanks for the cheery post. Now I’m so depressed I’m going to throwyself on the granola pyre.
    Sorry about your violet. If it makes you feel any better you can come sniff the 2 dozen red roses on my desk. Also help yourself to an apple – I’ll never be able to finish off the ginormous welcome fruit basket. Just leave the champagne alone, OK?

    Like

  6. Nepal probably needs the granola bars falling out of the sky. Let’s just hope the Kardashians flounder and stop plaguing the rest of us with trivial pursuits.

    I thought it was a good post. Then again, I’m not-quite-right. 🙂

    Like

  7. Oma, we don’t know where you’ve been lately. And considering what came out of you with this post, perhaps we shouldn’t ask. Except you know we’re gonna ask…don’t expect us to go easy on you at the next staff meeting. *grin*

    By the way, where did you get the money to buy that plant? If it was from petty cash, you need to file a request, in triplicate, each page initialed and signed. By your mother. And even then you may be denied. Petty cash is usually reserved for things like toilet paper and bagels.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was at a seminar on positivity.

      The plant was a gift from Brian Williams. I met him on a helicopter. It doesn’t matter which helicopter, just know it was harrowing. So was the flight.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. It seems really wrong of me, but you actually made me feel better about the crappy week I had. Also, I’m really glad I finished all the tuna in the house before I learned of the tuna “safety” accident. It may be awhile before I can stomach it again.

    Like

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