Posted in Blogdramedy, Humor, News

Want to be the White House florist? Invest in a good hair brush.

With the arrival of spring, our fancy turns to…floral intrigue?

white-house-floris_3245497bThis week the news broke in Washington, D.C., that the official White House florist, Laura Dowling, vacated her position six weeks ago.

The news of this was better hidden than the nothing that was Hilary Clinton’s email correspondence. And when the pot surrounding this particular White House story broke, the manure started to fly and aphids, aka the media, swarmed.

Because this story has political scandal written all over it. Unlike the news of Ted Cruz announcing he’s running for president and to which everyone with any sense winced up their faces and started to google “best country to move to if this wing nut gets elected” this story made Page Six of the Washington Post.

IN REALLY BIG LETTERS.

Some bright bulb named it the “War of the Roses” and used non-incindiary phrases like, “escorted from the building.” If that doesn’t bring to mind two beefy guys in blue suits and a suspicious bulge under their jackets, glowering behind their Ray Bans, you must have used up all your imagination for the day.

Apparently, there’s nothing else going on in Washington these days, so this is climbing up the must-read lists like it’s on fertilizer steroids. Once it reached maximum velocity, it was leaked that First Lady, Michelle Obama, did issue a statement:

“No two arrangements were ever the same and each one left guests with a lasting impression of the elegance and history of the People’s House. We are grateful for her contribution over the years and wish her well.”

It’s been revealed that the note, which also thanked Ms. Dowling for her “lively and colorful” floral arrangements, was not signed.

I’m going out on a limb here but this could be the reason behind the sudden sendoff.

Hair that looks like it has never seen a brush. Or a stylist.

Someone needs to make new friends because her current BFF is failing to uphold the rules of BFF-ship. You don’t let your friends drive drunk is number one. Number two is you are always honest.

And by the looks of the bling on her left-ring finger, the flower lady can afford to go to a salon that’s not located in Walmart.

If I’ve gone too far, I apologize. But the woman works in the White House.

There are other possibilities for packing up her gardening gloves. Maybe she got bored.

FirstLadywhite-house-florst_3245496bPerhaps there was some miscommunication going on regarding the choice of flowers. Although how you can mistake, “I’ll be wearing this at the luncheon so don’t go overboard with the size of the blooms. And maybe not pink?” for anything other than SMALLER AND NOT PINK.

Maybe sitting down in the East Wing with Ms. Dowling for six years, going over the floral arrangements to so many State dinners all the while wanting to suggest the woman invest in some moisturizing hair conditioner just became too much for the First Lady and she cracked her vase.

It could be that Ms. Dowling’s arrangements were too traditional for Michelle Obama. The First Lady is known for her keen fashion sense and has grown comfortable in a style that suits her and her lifestyle. It’s fresh, modern, colorful, and always has some flavor of an edge. She rocks pretty much everything she wears. So imagine coming into the office and sitting down next to a woman who thinks this is okay to wear outside of a Mary Kay meeting.

LauraDowlingInDustyRose
“I don’t consider myself a traditionalist. More contemporary circa 1972.”

I realize this post is spiking the borders of mean town. In an effort to be a slightly less biased in my opinion, I checked out Ms. Dowling’s website. Traditional fits.

It was while on her site I noticed that she’s affiliated with FoxNews. That’s when the garden sprinkler I call my brain came on and all was revealed. *wink wink*

Will we ever know the real reason behind the sudden exit of Laura Dowling?

Will this tale turn into a movie of the week?

And how important, on a scale of one to ten, is this bouquet of intrigue?

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Author:

Blogdramedy is a recovering communications specialist who now spends her days helping non-profits communicate effectively. They rarely listen to her advice. When she's not doing that, she writes Upside of Sideways and is a field reporter for The Nudge Wink Report -- both on WordPress. https://upsidesideways.wordpress.com https://nudgewinkreport.wordpress.com

25 thoughts on “Want to be the White House florist? Invest in a good hair brush.

  1. I think I read somewhere that she was rumored to have been romantically linked to Hector Gomez, The Official White House Pooper Scooper. The son of Salvadoran immigrants, Hector is known for his brooding good looks and quickness with small shovels. The Obama public relations machine quickly identified the potential for scandal and nipped this little romance in the bud, so to speak.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Major bummer. We need flowers. We must have flowers! Whose traipsing out to the Rose garden with the sniper-clippers? Good heavens, the vases are bare and the element of feng shui has bombed. Well I’ll tell you this much, I’m not visiting until this mess is cleared up.

    We MUST have flowers. Oh, and a Glamour Shot’s I.D.!

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      1. Holy Smokes! This explains everything: People jumping fences to get in, while others are running as fast as they can to get away.

        Somethin’s got bad mojo written all over it. It’s one thing to leave if you are off to the back forty to help another candidate on his bid, but the flower-power chick being booted? Smells bad. I think that girl failed to water and pick buds. Ruined the whole damn crop!!Geez…

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  3. Far be it for me to add too much speculation and fertilizer, but a lot of folks are leaving their positions and heading north to Brooklyn (because, y’know, hipster is hip) to prepare for HRC 2016.

    Also, there is no such thing as a BFF in this town. It’s well-documented, althought I’m sure it wasn’t Abraham Lincoln who first said it, maybe Teddy Roosevelt, but I first heard it from John Dean, which is neither here nor there, but ….what was I saying? . . . Oh, if you want a friend in this town, get a dog. I’m sure her Cavalier King Charles Spaniel appreciates her beauty just the way she is. 🙂

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  4. Hmmmm. “Keen fashion sense,” “rocks pretty much everything she wears,” “wish I could have her baby if that were physically possible” for Mrs. Obama vs. should “invest in some moisturizer” and dresses like a Mary Kay consultant for Ms. Dowling.

    Nope; no snark bias here. 😉

    Like

    1. It’s true that. But honestly I wanted to take her off to the ladies room and have a quiet word. Like everyone else, I have bad hair days. That’s when you put on a hat. Or cancel everything and just stay home. *grin*

      Liked by 1 person

        1. We were out to dinner last night after meeting up with our friends from Denmark (who we met in Italy on our first trip two years ago) and who’ve been in Palermo for a month already when I heard my Mister say to them, “She’s beautiful!” I turned thinking he was talking about me to see he was referring to a girl at the next table…who had a shaved head. She solved her bad hair days. I forgave the Mister as he was right. *grin*

          Liked by 1 person

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