With the arrival of spring, our fancy turns to…floral intrigue?

white-house-floris_3245497bThis week the news broke in Washington, D.C., that the official White House florist, Laura Dowling, vacated her position six weeks ago.

The news of this was better hidden than the nothing that was Hilary Clinton’s email correspondence. And when the pot surrounding this particular White House story broke, the manure started to fly and aphids, aka the media, swarmed.

Because this story has political scandal written all over it. Unlike the news of Ted Cruz announcing he’s running for president and to which everyone with any sense winced up their faces and started to google “best country to move to if this wing nut gets elected” this story made Page Six of the Washington Post.


Some bright bulb named it the “War of the Roses” and used non-incindiary phrases like, “escorted from the building.” If that doesn’t bring to mind two beefy guys in blue suits and a suspicious bulge under their jackets, glowering behind their Ray Bans, you must have used up all your imagination for the day.

Apparently, there’s nothing else going on in Washington these days, so this is climbing up the must-read lists like it’s on fertilizer steroids. Once it reached maximum velocity, it was leaked that First Lady, Michelle Obama, did issue a statement:

“No two arrangements were ever the same and each one left guests with a lasting impression of the elegance and history of the People’s House. We are grateful for her contribution over the years and wish her well.”

It’s been revealed that the note, which also thanked Ms. Dowling for her “lively and colorful” floral arrangements, was not signed.

I’m going out on a limb here but this could be the reason behind the sudden sendoff.

Hair that looks like it has never seen a brush. Or a stylist.

Someone needs to make new friends because her current BFF is failing to uphold the rules of BFF-ship. You don’t let your friends drive drunk is number one. Number two is you are always honest.

And by the looks of the bling on her left-ring finger, the flower lady can afford to go to a salon that’s not located in Walmart.

If I’ve gone too far, I apologize. But the woman works in the White House.

There are other possibilities for packing up her gardening gloves. Maybe she got bored.

FirstLadywhite-house-florst_3245496bPerhaps there was some miscommunication going on regarding the choice of flowers. Although how you can mistake, “I’ll be wearing this at the luncheon so don’t go overboard with the size of the blooms. And maybe not pink?” for anything other than SMALLER AND NOT PINK.

Maybe sitting down in the East Wing with Ms. Dowling for six years, going over the floral arrangements to so many State dinners all the while wanting to suggest the woman invest in some moisturizing hair conditioner just became too much for the First Lady and she cracked her vase.

It could be that Ms. Dowling’s arrangements were too traditional for Michelle Obama. The First Lady is known for her keen fashion sense and has grown comfortable in a style that suits her and her lifestyle. It’s fresh, modern, colorful, and always has some flavor of an edge. She rocks pretty much everything she wears. So imagine coming into the office and sitting down next to a woman who thinks this is okay to wear outside of a Mary Kay meeting.


“I don’t consider myself a traditionalist. More contemporary circa 1972.”

I realize this post is spiking the borders of mean town. In an effort to be a slightly less biased in my opinion, I checked out Ms. Dowling’s website. Traditional fits.

It was while on her site I noticed that she’s affiliated with FoxNews. That’s when the garden sprinkler I call my brain came on and all was revealed. *wink wink*

Will we ever know the real reason behind the sudden exit of Laura Dowling?

Will this tale turn into a movie of the week?

And how important, on a scale of one to ten, is this bouquet of intrigue?