It’s no secret that I have more than my share of pet peeves (like women who squat, pee on the toilet seat and don’t clean it up), phobias (like the fear of getting to the airport late as in

and the…

)))***!!!   3 sayings that make me scream out exclamation points   !!!***(((

1. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

Really?  Is that like saying whatever doesn’t make you fatter keeps you healthy?  If that’s so, perhaps I should eat paper and stop exercising?  That makes just about as much sense.  Don’t you people know anything? 

We’re all going to die eventually, and it doesn’t matter how strong you are when that happens.  Here’s the strongest person on Earth killing the last (and 2nd strongest) person on Earth. machinegun Once the food runs out, s/he’ll be dead, too. The only thing whatever doesn’t kill you CAN do (while you’re waiting to die) is turn you into a psychopath (see #3), a sociopath, or make you just plain crazy.

2.  soul-mate-quote

Forget for a moment that this poster has a misspelling, but IF the sentiment expressed in it is true I’ve had 5 soul mates that I married, 1 that died, 3 I’ve divorced and there’s 1 who’s still crazy enough to stay with me.  He’s the strongest person I know.

If you take the words in the poster and dissect them, you’ll find that they don’t describe your soul-mate, they describe life on this F@#&ing planet!  I’m not sure I want to be introduced to the spiritual master who came up with that scenario.

3. It’s Karma.

pianoman I’d imagine there aren’t many other species in the universe as primitive as humans.  We’re like a bunch of 3 year-olds in comparison.  For what reason(s) would we deserve to be punished without knowing the answer to that oft asked question, “Why?” 

When a child doesn’t have the capacity to understand why s/he’s being brutally punished, there are created on this Earth more psychopaths waiting for prey and walking wounded waving their hands in the air shouting, “Pick me!  I’ll be the victim!”  (My apologies to the Addams Family).  

If this is a prison planet and we’re here because no one else in the universe wants to put up with us, just say so.  I’m tired of trying to guess why I’m in this terrarium and if there’s a way to escape.  But I’m Polyanna enough to believe an enlightened omnipotence wouldn’t allow a recycling program this sadistic to continue with no way out.

Do good things happen in the world?  Yes.  Life doesn’t always have to suck before you die.  I simply ignore the idea that there’s life after death and look forward to an eternity under general anesthesia. After all, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” Just sayin’