When the staff at NWR received this “Ask NWR” question, things got a little heated in the office.

Joe, from A New York Minute, is a man on a quest for an answer to one of life’s most basic questions. We’ll let him explain…

“I’m slightly troubled and could use some advice: Last night, I fantasized that my wife was Lieutenant Uhura. Let me tell you, best sex ever. What do you think, does that make me a Trekkie?”

This is what staff have to say. Remember, we ARE professionals.

Dave: Look Sparky, I’ve been tending bar in this crap-hole since Moses was a pup. I’ve seen it all and heard it twice. You think you’re the first guy to fantasize about bumping uglies with a TV character while the wife was lyin’ there trying not to laugh at ya? Ellie Mae Clampett, Emma Peel, Ginger, Maryanne – we had a guy in here once was totally into Mrs. Thurston Howell the 3rd! Old money fetish I guess. You’re not a trekkie, you’re just reverting to your dirty little childhood fantasies. Don’t worry about it too much, I’m sure your wife was pretending you were a young Lee Majors while you were setting your phaser to stuh-uhh-uhh-uhhn.

Darla: Yes. Once I imagined my husband was George Clooney so obviously that means I’m a Bookie (women with an odd fetish for guys on Roseanne named Booker).

Tom: Dear Slightly, You were wise to come here for advice. That’s a point in your favor. You used the term “Trekkie” which I personally prefer to the highbrow “Trekker.” Another point. And, last but not least, you had great sex. Wow. Out of this world! So, yeah, what’s that like? Experts agree that Nyota Uhura is such a heavenly body that falling into her attractional pull does not automatically make one a Trekkie. But it helps. Why not jump to warp speed and find out where it takes you? I recommend during the next encounter you refer to yourself as “Mister Adventure” while eating out of your wife’s hand while she holds you at bay with a phaser. If you don’t get the reference, that’s okay, and also a pretty good sign you’re not a Trekkie.

JD: I was into Star Trek when it first appeared. Yes, the original series. I can tell you for a fact that if a man fantasizes his wife is Lieutenant Uhura it means he wants a strong, commanding women. There are specialty shops for people like him that sell whips, blindfolds…

Oma: Huh? What? Did I miss something? I think I missed something. [Copy provided by Management as Oma is on assignment.]

Blogdramedy: Not necessarily, Joe. But there’s something you’re not saying. We know you put your wife in the role of Lieutenant Uhura but you don’t say if you, yourself, approached the situation in character. Like, say, Bones? As a doctor, Bones would have the skills needed to give a woman complete satisfaction. And if you look anything like Karl Urban, you’re wife is one lucky Trekkie fan.

Joe, I hope this helped answer your question and didn’t confuse the situation. If it did, we suggest therapy.

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