))))****SPECIAL REPORT****((((

(And it only took 2 months to write it)

All right, I admit it.  I started this post on December 2 and didn’t touch it again until 5 days ago.  Are you happy now?  I didn’t wait until the last day of forever to get my report together!   So there!

 Let’s talk about effective cleaning practices.

  1. Divide your house into small sections (on paper).
  2. Pick a small section of the house to clean each day.
  3. Procrastinate until company is coming, then complain about clumps of dog hair the size of tumbleweeds and the inch thick layer of dust on everything as you clean.

All right,  I admit it!  I skip number 1 and 2 and go directly to 3.  In between the cleaning marathons from hell (that happen just before the yearly visits by adventurous family members) I write more chapters for (or edit a bunch of) books in a series I’m writing.

Unfortunately, I write like I clean house.  There’s a plan, but I never follow it.  The similarities end there.   

Cleaning is torture, writing is life. 

One day, I might think of something that belongs in book number 11.  That, in turn, means I have  to change something in book number 4 or number 15.    By the time I’m finished, my eyeballs feel sunburned, my mechanical text reader wants a raise, and I keep wracking my brain to find anything meaningful in what I’ve just accomplished.  After all, I might feel great but the dishes aren’t any cleaner.

So I thought, “Hey!  This is a great topic for a ***SPECIAL REPORT***

How do successful writers “do it?”

cactusheadI worked so hard to find these quotes!  (If you believe that, I have a saguaro cactus to sell you.  They grow in Florida.  Really.  We have mountains here, too).

A few words plopped into the search engine and 30 seconds later I found this gem:


I have to admit:  This quote described me quite well:

writerEnid“Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. … It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.”  —Enid Bagnold

Ouch!  I feel prickly all over!

“I don’t care if a reader hates one of my stories, just as long as he finishes the book.” —Roald Dahl, WD

writerRaold(What’s not to like about a guy who’s man enough to hold dogs while his picture is taken?)

Hey, Roald, I’m still trying to get people to BUY my book!  How hard can it be to download my first book free on Amazon Prime?

writerElmore“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it. Or, if proper usage gets in the way, it may have to go. I can’t allow what we learned in English composition to disrupt the sound and rhythm of the narrative.” —Elmore Leonard

My point exactly, y’all.


“I do not over-intellectualize the production process. I try to keep it simple: Tell the damned story.”—Tom Clancy, WD

WriterDoris“There are no laws for the novel. There never have been, nor can there ever be.”—Doris Lessing

WriterRenard“Style means the right word. The rest matters little.” —Jules Renard


“Style is to forget all styles.” —Jules Renard

All right, now I’m confursed, contused, construed, conned

aw, hell!  I’m confused!

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that most writers are as much of a mess as my house.