Nudge & Wink here with some important news for our followers.
Due to overwhelming demand by our intrepid troop of globe-trotting field reporters, management has agreed to send off the entire team for an all-expenses paid around-the-world research experience of a lifetime. Our reporters will travel to far off lands to bring you hilarious reporting from regions not normally reported on by anyone with legitimate journalistic credentials.
Due to budgetary limitations, this means our field reporters get to not drive to the office, not drink up all our free high-quality coffee, and not load up the fridge with month-old leftovers. They also don’t get to toilet paper the office Christmas tree because we can’t afford it. The toilet paper. Or the tree.
So what does this really mean?
We’re giving our gang a month-long vacation away from the office to hang around with relatives IN THE COMFORT OF THEIR VERY OWN HOMES where they can quiz friends and guests about their exploits, travels, and adventures, and live vicariously through them…and then come back to The Nudge Wink Report in the new year with new stories for you, our readers.
They’ll also receive holidays bonus pay equal to about 10 per cent of their take-home pay. We know it takes more than Starburps* coffee and a constant supply of jelly donuts to keep our writers happy.
*Starbucks for the cheap corporate executive
Doesn’t that sound fabulous? Doesn’t it make you want to go “me, too, please?”
I know it makes us want to go…somewhere so very far away from here and anywhere we might bump into our gang while out and about during the holidays.
So, while our team of field reporters get to lounge around in their bath robes all day, watching reality television while trying to avoid actually talking to relatives, Wink and I will be busy maintaining the integrity of this blog.
From a beach. In Fiji.
Happy Holidays to all!
See you back here January 10, 2015.
— Nudge & Wink