What America’s Eating For Breakfast / (Big) Ben Gets Clocked

(This week on NWR, Blogdramedy writes an opinion piece on the American mid-term elections. Followed by commentary on the announcement of Benedict Cumberbatch’s engagement. Both pieces use the word “bitch.” Please don’t hate email management. We don’t have any control over what stories our reporters file. We lost control months ago. — Management)

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I haven’t written a political piece in forever. What better time to whip out the sarcasm pen and get busy than in the aftermath of this week’s mid-term elections.

Where Democrats said not much of anything and Republicans spun that old record of “Blame Obama” until the needle began to stick. No one bitches quite like a Republican.

This November, Republicans dished up a cereal bowl brimming with lies and obfuscation, mixed with a few seeds of truths and fact, and served it up to America as the breakfast of champions. Thus ensuring another two years of political constipation in Washington.

If only Mitch was this honest every time he opened his mouth.

Listening to comments by Republicans throughout the day on Wednesday, I was struck by the fact that not one of them offered up anything we haven’t all heard before. Although Mitch McConnell did try. For about two seconds. Which is one second longer than most Republicans so perhaps there is hope after all.

He was all “I’ll give you whatever you want…as long as it’s something I want to give.” How very Billy Bob Thornton of him. He just doesn’t get it. After six years of bickering and bitching, the Republican Party still doesn’t get it. It’s not about them. Even when they do talk about policy and action plans, it’s still all about them. Are they bred that way or is it a learned skill? The ability to not see the truth like a monkey with its hands over its eyes. Truly astounding. Sometimes I wish I had me some of that. To ignore what’s right in front of your face because you are so focused on what worked in the past, thinking that more of the same will work in the future. Because it worked in the past.

Ignorance is bliss, they say. Republicans all blissed out this week. And I don’t think they’ll ever fully get straight.

Not that the Democrats handled themselves better. They were the monkey with its hands over its mouth. I don’t think I’ve ever heard so little from the Democrats. Which is kind of freaky because Democrats know how to turn a phrase. They know how to parse a sentence. And they know how to get all flowery and shit. This time around…[silence]

Did either party have a strategy? I think the Republicans definitely had a strategy. Not a very nice one but it worked. The Democrats? I know they did. Whatever else you may think, Democrats are not stupid. Naive? Yes. Stupid? No.

It’s a pretty simple concept. This is an opportunity for Republicans to prove they’ve got the right stuff. They’ll start with the best intentions but end up as they always do…playing the blame game. And if they play that game too well, as I suspect they will, Democrats are hoping to win big in 2016.

It’s happened before. I hope it happens again.

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So while all this political drama was going on over here, drama of another kind was taking place across the pond.

Benedict Cumberbatch announced his engagement. Social media totally lost it as millions of women (and not a few men) bitched with each other over the news that Sophie Hunter was “The Woman” of his dreams. It wasn’t long before Sophie’s last name was being typed as “Hunt-her.”

Hunt her down. What every bride-to-be wants to see written when in the flush of excitement over her engagement. There’s no bitch like an Internet bitch. Specifically, a #Cumberbitch.

Cumberbitches is a Tumblr site where people can list all the problems associated with being a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch. It’s usually a funny site.

 

However, one person was not thrilled once news broke that Ben as affianced. WITHOUT RUNNING IT PAST THEM FIRST!

It’s a bold move to make a decision about your personal life without having an in-depth discussion with the public first. Quite nervy actually. After all, without us, Ben would just be an award-winning actor who knows the value of a good creme rinse. I’m personally shocked and appalled that he didn’t pick up the phone and call me to discuss this immediately. It’s not like he doesn’t have my number. I tweeted it to him often enough.

Once this first flush of shock recedes from the shores of social media, I’m sure #Cumberbitches everywhere will get on with their lives as if nothing has happened.

Because denial is the go-to refuge of the obsessed. Many people live there. They should have plenty of company. Enough that maybe one day, they’ll solve each and every problem listed on their Tumblr. Now that’s something to celebrate.

I showed Sophie my dragon and she said yes.