Posted in Blurt

Pistorius, The Soap Opera

The long legal soap opera known as the Oscar Pistorius trial finally ended this week.

You know, if it were anyone else, I’d never make this joke. (original cartoon by Sam Gross, National Lampoon 1970)

The Pistorius show is the second most significant contribution that South Africa has made to the cultures of other nations. For those who are curious, that nation’s third most significant contribution is the vuvuzela and the greatest contribution is Ladysmith Black Mombazo’s singing on Paul Simon’s Graceland album.

The lead character, Pistorius, was a legless paralympic athlete (nicknamed “The Blade Runner” because of his metallic artificial legs) who shot his live in girlfriend through their bathroom door in the show’s first episode. His reason for the shooting was never clear. The producers left it an open question. Fans argued over which of the theories presented during the show were the motive – domestic violence or a terrible accident.

“Terrible accident” hinged on the idea that the Pistorius character believed that he was not shooting his girlfriend, he was shooting an intruder who was in his bathroom. Fans howled at this story line, “completely unbelievable” they said, “who breaks in to a home to have a poop?”

The Pistorius Show carried on, with Oscar being tried for murder. Now, when I say the trial carried on, what I mean is that it really did carry on, and on, and on. The trial portion took up 99% of the show’s run of just over four years. One of the features of the trial was the super-natural amounts of vomit and tears ejected by Oscar. This meaning of this tsunami of bodily fluids was left to the viewer’s interpretation.

In the United States and around the world, fans gathered at viewing parties and in bars to watch the final episodes together.

The judge (Thokozile Masipa, in the role she was born to play) announced her verdict – guilty of culpable homicide – a lesser form of murder that essentially embraced the “terrible accident” theory. Negative reviews poured in as soon as the “Verdict” episode went off the air. “Unbelievable”, groused one critic, “how can the producers get us invested in these characters and present the story line they did, but wrap the show in an ending like this?”

But the writers had another shock in store for the show’s fans. In the final episode, the judge sentenced Oscar to five years in prison for killing his girlfriend – just one year more than his trial took.  The calls for a sequel that were numerous as the end of the show grew close, dropped to none after the “Sentence” episode.

All things considered, I’d rather listen to vuvuzelas for  months on end than go through watching and being disappointed in another South African soap opera.

Fans who hoped for a harsher sentence were comforted by the show’s final scene, Oscar in a prison exercise area. Another inmate recognizes the legless runner and asks if he is Oscar Pistorius.

Oscar looks up at him and says “me? No, I’m Neal Short.”

Yes, I know. You read all that crap just so I could make a pun about a guy with no legs. Let’s be fair, he isn’t a nice guy with no legs.

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Author:

Most who read my blog don't know me from the man in the moon. But they seem nice and I am, in fact, The Man In The Moon.

21 thoughts on “Pistorius, The Soap Opera

  1. I for one, am glad that Oscar wasn’t playing in the NFL when this happened. If he was, we’d have to sit through tons of public service announcements where amputee athletes appear in cameos urging us to no longer view the shooting of girlfriends through bathroom doors as acceptable behavior.

    As for writing an entire post just for a chance to make a joke, I’m going to echo that sentiment by writing an entire comment for the same reason.

    Q: What do you call Oscar Pistorius when he doesn’t have his prosthetic legs?
    A: It doesn’t matter, he won’t come when you call him.

    Yes, the original joke asked what to call a dog with no legs, but that’s not fair to dogs, especially when we’ve got a perfectly good girlfriend killer to mock.

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  2. Reblogged this on Blurt and commented:

    So, one of the other places I write (except when I forget it is my turn) is a site called The Nudge Wink Report. I remembered this month, this one is about the Oscar Pistorius trial.

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  3. Perhaps the next step in human evolution will have something to do with us moving beyond the notion that once you feel fear you can do absolutely anything you want. Not all actions are justifiable.

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  4. Is it a coincidence that “Honey Boo Boo” got cancelled around the same time as this verdict? Reality television producers are either waking up to the fact that such shows are utter crap. Or busy doing focus groups for a new reality show based on Pistorius’ time in a South African prison. Randy Newman is tagged to write the theme song.

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  5. I would never trust any man who could cry and speak at the same time. It was murder! He knew what he was doing. He has no impulse control. She got him p.o.’d enough to shoot her. He thought an assassin was hiding in his bathroom? Why would a home invader break into a residence and hide in the bathroom? Was he waiting for a specific hour to launch an attack from the toilet? That judge is a real cretin. Is she a judge for life? If so, the senior judge should assign her to permanent recess status and offer her a full time job as a bartender.

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  6. Am I missing something – I don’t understand why you have said that the “show” went on for four years…?
    He shot Reeva in Feb 2013, and got convicted in October 2014… 20 months.
    Maybe it’s too early in the morning for me….

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  7. Any theme song should be by Warren Zevon but unfortunately that is no longer possible.

    But we can take some Zevon hits, keep the music, change the words and alter the tile…such as “Lawyers, Guns and Prosthetics”. Or, “Oscar, the Legless Bathroom Gunner”

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  8. Wasn’t it Reva’s own fault ? Like any red blooded American , she should have been armed . Oh , she was South African ………..You should always be ready with your weapon , even in the bathroom , just in case . Right ?

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  9. It was just a silly mistake . Reva should have had her gun with her in the toilet . What was she thinking ! When Pistorious gets out of prison he’ll have to hunt for another girlfriend . That might be a problem .

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