Posted in Attitudes, Humor, Uncategorized, Views



top load

This is a rant and a review.  Thus, it is a Rant-view.

I’m going to tell you what I think of the GE top loader washing machine that I purchased over 5 years ago.  Why am I reviewing it now?  

Because GE is still selling the D@$*%d thing! 

It has 16 cycles.  It has prewash, a separate rinse cycle as well as a separate drain and spin.  It has 6 temperature selections, 5 water levels, bleach and fabric softener dispensers, it’s quiet and you can wash 2 comforters in it

Best of all it’s HE and Energy star and all that crap.

What’s not to like?

It would be nice if it actually washed the clothes!

I tried to find an image of a woman lifting a wet comforter.  Since that resulted in X-rated images I can’t repeat, I’ll try to explain how one has to do laundry in the Washer from Hell (WFH).  I could probably search for examples until the cows come home but to no avail.  This is what Google spit out at me when I tried:

cow wash

How does the wash come out the first time it goes through a full cycle?


How does the wash come out the second time it goes through a full cycle?

2nd wash

This is what I feel like doing to the GE executives who continue to allow a product on the market that isn’t even as useful as a tub, washboard and wringer:

3rd washs

Imagine you’re washing 2 comforters on the highest water level.  You put the 2 tablespoons of soap at the bottom (as instructed), add the comforters, and then come back 30 minutes later when the tub “fills.”  But…

Where the hell is the water?

You push down on the comforters, finding there’s hardly enough water to cover the bottom one.   You don’t know any better so you let it cycle, go to take out the wash and it smells like it did when you put it in the washer, only wet.  

That’s when you commandeer your gifted handyman of a spouse to figure out how to raise the “extra large” water level so that it’s actually…well, “extra large.”    

How, you may ask, does one change the water level on a fancy state-of-the-art WFH? 

Quite literally, the turn of a screw (getting to the screw wasn’t easy).

Now the water covers the comforters.  An hour later you’re back, finding a twisted mass that still smells like wet dog and dirty human.


Instead of the small amount of soap recommended, you pour in a whole cap full.  An hour later, the clothes look like this:

washer sog

Now you know why there’s an additional rinse cycle on the Washer from Hell.  But  how do you get the extra water in it to rinse out the soap?   The D@$*%d thing is rigged to stop if you open the lid!  That’s when you commandeer your gifted handyman of a spouse to figure out how to make the WFH think the lid is closed.

You end up using this:


…holding a bucket of water while it slowly pours into this (sans agitator) for 20 minutes:

water washer

So then, after 3 full cycles, and a rinse that leaves your arms feeling like you tried to pick up Godzilla, the clothes look, feel and smell clean.

You’re ready to toss the comforters in the dryer.  Right?

Only if you can do this:

weight lift

No, I’m not kidding. 

That’s when you find out why there’s an extra drain and spin cycle.  

So then, after a lot of trial and error, you discover that it takes 2 cycles (1 to wash and 1 to rinse)–and (for comforters and towels) an extra bucket rinse (i.e.,  4 hours of intense effort) just to get 1 load of  clothes clean.  After 3 loads and 20 hours of wash, rinse, dry and fold you have no weekend left.

SUMMARY:  High Efficiency my @$$!  Unless you don’t have a life and you’re looking for an exercise program that doesn’t require you to leave your home, buy a washer with an agitator or spend twice as much for a front loader. 

As for my needs, I live in the Florida countryside on a sand hill in a giant dog house.  The dogs just let us live there (They tolerate the cats) but understand there’s a price to be paid for the perpetual food bowl.   They couldn’t care less if I ever wash anything.   The humans, however, have their limits.  My husband plays in the dirt, fixes the cars and washes his own clothes.  He’s the one who figured out how to use the WFH.

After 5 years of doing my wash like this, it’s no secret why 107 pounds of me is able to carry 50 pounds of squirming dog and deposit him into the bathtub.

As I’ve said more times than I can remember, I can kill anything with software, moving parts or chlorophyll.  But no matter what I do to it, the WFH just won’t die.




Crabby person who likes to rant. Reading it is free so remember-- you get what you pay for. Well endowed with the multi-layered weirdness that lurks inside a not-quite-right-mind. That's how I write SciFi. Crabby, weird, and to make matters worse, I write poetry. Some of it is even...shudder...nice. I feel like a sandwich that went on a journey of self-discovery just to find I was pastrami with Maraschino Cherries, hot peppers, the contents of an MRE and broccoli on gluten free cheese bread. After that kind of trauma no 'wich is the same again.

28 thoughts on “Rant-view

    1. It is true that the washer from hell is just that, I have said screw it and only wash one comforter at a time. My only problem now is that it shakes my whole trailer since I can never get it to stay level. I do not have the option of getting the handy gifted spouse to fix it. I am the handyman around here or should say handywoman. Get rant I needed that tonight.


      1. This is weird, but it works in the WFH.. Instead of folding the comforter in half, I make it a triangle. The thickest part of the triangle goes in first. I smush that down and then wrap the 2 sides around the stump that should have been an agitator. I don’t know why it balances better that way but in my machine it does.

        I never knew how many other people were feeling my pain and had similar experiences. I’ve lived in a trailer before and a 5 year old running down the hall makes it shake.. But it sure beats being homeless.


  1. Oh, I feel your pain. I spent $$$$ for a French door refrigerator from the same manufacture of your machine. Purchased the extended warrantee and after four years of ownership and three major repairs I said “Bye-Bye” to this product line. They could offer me something at half the retail price and I still wouldn’t take it off their hands.


    1. When I was writing this post, I had to take 20 minutes and 2 gallons of water to finish the towels on the spin cycle. Thank you for giving me insight about your experience. Considering your experience, I will most likely remember never to buy another product from that company again.


      1. I’d like to tell you about my GE cooktop and GE oven, unfortunately I would most likely find myself in the beginning of a lawsuit for defamation.

        Try researching Samsung top loading washing machines. Their front loading dryers are also something to consider if you are looking for a dryer.

        I replaced my French door refrigerator with an LG model. It’s not as pretty as the GE was, but I have been very pleased with it. It has a linear compressor, is much quieter than the former GE and does not radiate heat.


        1. I have a simple no-name gas stove that I love (not a single bell, whistle or electronic device), a dryer that works well, a fridge and freezer that work well, and an excellent toaster oven with knobs. I really hope I expire before my appliances do–except for the Washer from Hell. 🙂

          When I look for a washer, I will definitely remember your advice.


          1. The basics that stand the test of time are priceless! Btw, I don’t have the specific washer and dryer, but used my nieces while visiting her this summer. I was so impressed! It senses the water level and does an excellent job of cleaning. The dryer doesn’t bake the clothes and suppresses wrinkling. The units were expensive, each costing a bit over $1,000 per unit. The energy efficiency labels, hopefully true and not falsified, also impressed me. The large capacity washer estimated a $13 a year operating cost. I had to do a double-take when I read that.

            Liked by 1 person

    2. I wrote this after wrestling with the washer…again. Thanks for sharing your experiences with a GE refrigerator. I’m pretty sure that next time I’m going to skip anything from that manufacturer.


  2. I have the front loading version of your washing machine. Also GE. Same vintage. I have been kicking myself for years for buying the front load machine, because I lived in Europe and I knew that they took forever and the clothes came out smelling like body odor, which isn’t generally the smell I’m looking for in my newly laundered clothes.

    But I was advised for resale of the house (that we’re still in) that folks want the front loaders. I was assured that the American ones work better than the European ones. I was told that the wash cycle in the American ones don’t last for frickin’ ever. They lied.

    I look dirty all the time and smell bad.

    I offer myself up as a model for GE’s next commercial.

    (Their dishwashers suck, too. But they don’t make me smell)


    1. At least with the top loader I can pour a stream of water into it during the spin cycle to help get more grime and soap out of it. You can’t do that with a front loader. My sister had an excellent front load washer 20 years ago. I don’t think much of the new one she bought after she moved across country a few years ago. You saved me from buying a front loader. I think I’ll go for one with an agitator next time.


  3. Wow – that is some serious pent up rage you have just released there. When I save up enough money to not live with my parents and am contemplating buying a washer – I’ll think of you! I’m crossing my fingers that they see this and offer to personally come and do your washing for a month!
    Soph x


    1. After years of fighting with a washer that’s supposed to be energy efficient, on both the owners and their electric bill, I had to dub it the Washer from Hell and write out why–with as much humor as possible.

      Hopefully, I’ll save anyone who reads this years of frustration. I’m thinking about getting one of those battle axes to take out my frustrations on the WFH. However, I just don’t want my children to have to tell their friends, “They found her all washed up, the old battle axe firmly embedded in the tub.”


  4. Reblogged this on Blogdramedy and commented:

    This week on NWR, FloridaBorne (our intrepid Adventure Reporter) goes where few dare to go. Into the bowels of the everyday washing machine. It’s not pretty. Check it out over at The Nudge Wink Report. Puts a whole other “spin” on how you do your laundry.


  5. It seems you there must be at least one appliance every home that we have to do war with. We secretly (sometimes not so secretly) pray every day for it to quit completely or just die. Rule of thumb says that appliance will out live us.


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