From the NWR headquarters: Happy Belated Birthday, ‘Merica!

Two hundred and thirty-eight years old–unbelievable. Not nearly as old as England’s outdated, stinky, old monarchy but the United States is getting up there in age… along with our national flag.


There she is. Bold. Dependable. The same three colors year after year.

It goes without saying that there’s not much to say, stylistically speaking, regarding our country’s flag and its lack of sizzle. There are many traditionalists in the US who demand our beloved emblem of freedom (relative) to forever and ever and ever remain red, white, and blue–stars and stripes for all time.

There is, however, one, little girl in an American-looking, suburban town, who took the time and energy to create her own style of our national flag.

Meet Saige.

Get that damn camera off me.

Get that damn camera off me.

Like a demented and unscrupulous US hedge fund manager, Saige takes one look at our US flag and sees opportunity:


“Welcome to the jung-le!”

‘Screw Title 4 Flag Code’, Saige’s new ‘oligarchy-inspired’ clothing line, will eventually hit US markets in the next few months, if not sooner, due to misguided consumer demand.

"Oh, my god. The flag looks so much better in hair, right?"

“Oh, my god. The flag looks so much better in hair, right?”

Saige, who refuses to be minimized and defined by a surname, describes her brand with ‘a lot of brevity’.

“So what. It’s just a flag.”

T-shirts, baseball caps, and see-through daisy duke shorts with matching underwear, will be emblazoned with ‘Saige’s phrase’ she describes as ‘spirit inspired’.

"Last night I awoke in a pool of scotch."

“Last night I awoke in a pool of scotch.”

“I think what I’m doing with the flag is totally fine. It’s not like I’m hurting it or anything. I mean, I couldn’t change the color scheme so I decided to market it as ‘flagwear’. No biggie. Oh! I have bedding coming out, too!”

"You guys... so comfy."

“You guys… so comfy.”

Towards the end of my interview, I asked Saige what the future holds for her revolutionary clothing line.

"I'm fascinated with politics. I think I would be really good at it."

“I don’t know. I’m already bored with it. I’m thinking about politics. Like, lobbying or something. Do I need a degree in that?”