The office Halloween party. Is there anything scarier?

You think you know the people you work with and then the pumpkins start to appear, and you discover how little you really want to know any of them. I stopped by a friend’s office party last night and carved out a few examples of moments gone scary.

Scary Moment Number One:

You come face-to-face with the guy who works in IT who gave you that ” virus” but claimed it was your fault because you use a PC and not a Mac. Tell him the horse’s head should be on his ass.

hung

Does he know that’s a gelding hanging from his belt?

Scary Moment Number Two:

At the bar, you see the receptionist sharing pretzels with her dog and you think you’ve never seen anything quite so insensitive and rude.

Anna Rexia is available for only $39.95. A brain is extra.

Anna Rexia is available for only $39.95. A brain is extra.

Until you see this:

She named me Raphael but that's no excuse for this kind of abuse.

She named me Raphael but that’s no excuse for this kind of abuse.

Scary Moment Number Three:

The office manager shows up dressed as a pile of poop and spends the evening wondering why everyone keeps checking their shoes. And she’ll still be mystified come Christmas when her Secret Santa gift is a can of “Magnolia Blossom” air freshener.

Poopcostume

Scary Moment Number Four:

The advertising department arrives and you’re thrown for a minute until you realize they’re all sharing one costume and someone’s grandmother is right this minute calling the cops because her drapes have been stolen.

Staff couldn't decide between a curtain or a carpet so wore both.

Staff couldn’t decide between a curtain or a carpet so wore both.

Scary Moment Number Five:

Finally the project manager arrives and he’s brought a guest. Let’s hope he doesn’t put baby down next to the plate of fries.

NO! Don't squeeze...fuck.

NO! Don’t squeeze…fuck.

Scary Moment Number Six:

The office accountant comes up to you and asks you to play ball.

Who's the lucky lady tonight then?

Who’s the lucky lady tonight then?

Scary Moment Number Seven:

Just when you think you’ve seen the worst of the worst, your boss walks in. And he heads right over to the project manager and puts his wiener down next to the fries and reaches for the ketchup.

I think the chicks here need glasses. No one's nailed me yet!

I think the chicks here need glasses. No one’s nailed me yet!

Β What are you dressing up as for Halloween?

Me? I’m going as this so I can capture the moment:

Touch my camera button and say "Candy Corn!"

Touch my camera button and say “Candy Corn!”

And I’m taking along my faithful companion:

I want to punch her right now.

I want to punch her right now.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

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